"I loved you."
"Please stop lying to me."
Michael
It hurt.
No. It didn't just hurt. It damaged me.
It wasn't emotional pain anymore, it was so much more.
Nobody had ever made me feel so low. So unwanted.
Nobody had ever been able to make my heart swell.
Nobody had ever been able to love me.
And before him, nobody had been able to break me but myself.
-
"It's been a long time, Mikey."
"Don't fucking call me that." I hissed, my words coming out like poison.
"Why are you so angry? It's been five years Michael." He still looked the same. He still talked the same. He still had the same effect on me. But this time I wouldn't be so stupid.
"It could be 100 years later and I still wouldn't forgive you for what you did." My heart felt crushed even though there was no friction on my chest. My head was pounding, but it didn't ache. My stomach was lurching, but I kept looking at him.
"I was 16, Michael. I was stupid, I was dumb. I never meant to hurt you. You know that. I loved you."
"Please stop fucking lying to me."
*flashback*
'I trust you, Luke.' I typed to the blonde boy who I had been talking with for a long time now.
'You do?' He replied, making my heart swell.
We'd talked nonstop for two weeks and I had immediately starting catching feelings for the boy, but he seemed like he wanted something else.
'So if I do it... we can be together?' I typed, feeling more nervous than I'd ever felt before.
'Yes baby, of course. It's all I need. I want you to trust me.'
I gulped nervously. I'd never done anything like this before. I'd always been a good kid. I always understood that naked photos were not meant to be taken or sent to anybody, but something about Luke was enticing.
I hovered my finger over the send button. I'd taken the photo. Something Luke had been asking for. He said that we could date and be public if I let him see me.
I finally hit the button, instantly feeling a knot in my stomach. There was no getting that picture back.
Luke ♡ screen-shotted your snap!
He didn't reply. He didn't even start typing.
'Luke?' I typed, beginning to find myself growing more nervous.
'Hello?'
'Luke?'
'You're scaring me'
'Luke please answer'
I felt the tears in my eyes.
opened 2m ago
'Luke please, I trust you'
Deep down I already knew what had happened.
opened 6m ago
I knew deep down, but I didn't want to believe it.
opened 10m ago
'Luke please, I need you to answer'
message pending
Tears welled up in my eyes as realization dawned on me. What had I done?
A few minutes later my phone let off a ding, indicating I had received a text message.
From: Ash x
Mikey, what have you done?
You need to answer me!!!
Oh my god Michael what did you do
Michael your um body is everywhere please answer
To: Ash x
He lied to me.
I just wanted somebody to love me, Ash
From: Ash x
Mikey, you've fucked up.
I love you, Mikey, don't go on social media please
I'm begging you.
My hands were shaking, my head was spinning. Nothing felt secure. It felt like my whole life was collapsing in on me.
I shakily opened the instagram app, the facebook app, twitter. Hundreds of notifications.
Tears flowed down my cheeks as I read through the comments. The things people had to say about me.
'ew faggot'
'eww his dick is tiny'
'bro wtf'
'sicko'
'perv who sends nudes'
'ugly wth'
I through my phone across the room. Everything was spinning. Nothing seemed stable. I grabbed onto my wrist and pulled my sleeve up.
2 months, 5 days
My fingers lingered over the scars, still feeling bumpy and scarred over.
Everything was telling me not to. I'd never wanted to go back to it, but it hurt so much.
My finger nails picked at the scabs, feeling fresh blood lightly pool out. Nothing felt as good as forgetting.
"You think you're better than me. You think you're better than everyone. But you brought me to the lowest point in my life. You hurt me in ways I didn't think were possible. So next time you want to 'hook up with someone' why don't you fuck yourself." I spat, bringing my hand directly across the blonde boy's cheek.
"Don't ever fucking talk to me again." I said, turning around and walking away from the boy who stood clenching his cheek.
"Asshole!" He yelled after me.
I turned around and looked at him, looking like he'd failed.
I just flicked up my middle finger and gave him a nice smile.
YOU ARE READING
Muke One Shots
RandomI ship Muke and I am also very depressing, great combination! cover by @-thirwalls