"Best friends, keep each other's secrets even if it could change things, make things great. If I told everyone that you were my best friend and gave them proof, I would be the most popular girl in school." I said.
"Then why haven't you told people?"...
Pain, tension, hurt, aching. They all have the same feeling, but they hurt in a different way. Everything is connected to hurt, pain is more mental. It affects the brain.
Tension causes everything to tighten, it causes us to be stiff and worried, it is hard to notice until the tension is released. Aching, your pain pounds with your heart beat, you can truly feel the pain, and so can the rest of your body. Every muscle can feel the pain.
They are all forms of being hurt, they just hurt a different way. It doesn't mean they hurt any less than one another. They all hurt the same amountI got dressed in a sweater and leggings. I grabbed knitted socks that matched my wool sweater then proceed down the hall.
My shoulders were tense, but they often were. They would build this hot sensitisation and they would always crack. They often shifted it was as if I had air bubbles in between my shoulder blades.
My knees were also often sore. As a child I would wake up crying because they hurt so much, now I wake up crying for stupid reasons. Reasons that are caused by a lovely, beautiful thing called stress.
I want someone to know how my shoulders pop and how my knees ache, I want someone to not demand an answer all the time. I want them to just know that I am upset and hurting and know what I need.
I am lucky to have this someone, I'm just not lucky enough to have him here.Same may think that Shawn and I are related, others think relationship.
Now people would never see us in public, they would only see him. Some may also believe that we aren't as close as I would like to think we are, but we are close, really close.
Shawn Mendes knows the girl underneath, the real girl, the girl I really am. Aaliyah often says I am the real life Margo Roth Spiegelman. I have many friends, many I don't like, an ass hole boyfriend, and a completely different soul when I am by myself.
The only real difference between Margo and myself, I am too afraid to run away, in fact, that's the thing I am most afraid of.I finished eating my breakfast then headed out the door. I was too poor to afford a car, so I walked everywhere.
Even if I had the money for a car, \i wouldn't buy one. They eat your money, could kill you, and they hurt the environment.The school was only a fifteen minute walk anyway, so it wasn't bad at all.
[Text Message] Shawn: [I need your help] Me: [DO YA!] Shawn: [Yes] Me: [With?] Shawn: [Writing] Me: [Sounds good] Shawn: [Love ya! Talk to you late have to go ☹] Me: [Love you too ] I smiled as I walked into the school. Most people just smiled at me. People thought I was nice but they never said much to me.
Jill: "Taylor Swift is so much better than Selena Gomez." Perry: "Agrees but I still don't like either of them." Tish: Just love Bruno Mars, like how about we waste our time on singers we actually like?"
I always had an opinion when it came to this kind of thing, but this was the time where I had to hide and separate my two personalities. So I never said anything.
Twenty-one pilots and Shawn Mendes would be the one singers they would recognize on my playlist. I never kept music on my phone, though, just in case someone were to go through it.
My classes were always easy, I didn't share my grades with my peers, I hated to show off. I was a straight A student, the type that never had any homework.
I just wanted to get by. I wouldn't be good at school if I didn't have a photographic memory. I hated studying, and stress was always hovering over my head.
I took my heavy jean jacket off and hung it on my jacket rack. I plugged all my lights into the wall. Fairy lights lined my bookshelf, my records which hung on the wall. Lights also hovered inside the white sheet that was dangled above my bed.Everything had to be in its place, everything had to be looking nice, even though I was the only person who had ever seen my room.
Your music taste, your bedroom. It tells everything about you. Your grades show who you will most likely be in the future, all things I hide from m peers.
My peers, who weren't my friends, I had many people, I was popular, but I didn't consider any of them friendsbecause none of them knew who I really was.
Shawn: [ You home?] Me: [Yes Muffin lol] [Awe baby, you're so cute] [WTF lol] [I will Skype you] [Kay]
I pulled my laptop onto my bed with me and waited for Shawn's username to pop onto my screen.
Even though we had been talking on the phone last night, texting this morning. It felt like I hadn't talked to my best friend in ages. Just the benefits of not living in the same town I guess, well and one of us being famous and all.
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ITS BEEN SO LONG!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I HOPE EVERYONE LIKED SHAWNS NEW ABLUM LIVE AT MADDISON SQUARE!!
AND ED IS COMING OUT WITH NEW MUSIC HOLY SHIT!!
I WANTED SO MAKE THIS CHAPTER REALLY SHOWING WHO SAM WAS. SHE IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM SNY OF MY OTHER CHARACTERS IN MY OTHER BOOKS SO I AM EXCITED FOR HER. HOPE YOUR LIKED THE CHAPTER LOVE YOU BABES.
