Before You Leave Tomorrow | Shawn Mendes ✔️

1.1 Feel

Feel like nothing wrong is happening, feel like the world might actually stay standing. In this moment, that's how I feel.

This is my favorite thing in the entire world. Driving, but being in the passenger seat. Watching the world pass you in slow motion, close enough you could walk to it and touch.

You can smell the outdoors, but your inside. I can feel the love of the world as we travel as we move towards our destination. I never cared much for the destination, it was the drive that I loved most.

The music carrying us, throwing memories at us, causing us to laugh, smile and sing alone.

Not only is this my favorite thing, but I am experiencing it, with my favorite person. I smile at Shawn who drives his jeep down the road.

Shawn reaches for the radio and slowly turns the volume up louder. I smile and look back out the window.

As a kid, I would always wonder what all the animals were doing in the woods, if they were playing, eating. Watching the cars pass.

In reality, they were probably running for their lives, dying, or they were being eating themselves. They were wondering if they could run across the highway to be with their family, but instead, they would get killed. They would also take human lives in the process. The horrible reality.

"You take your next left," I said as I turned down the stereo so Shawn would hear me.

"Got it."

I don't think I remember the last time I went to a lake. Actually, I did, but it was a long time ago. I think it was before Cory was sick, maybe even before I met Shawn.

We went tubing for the first time, and I guess for the last. We flipped the tube and after that, my mom refused to go back on it again.

What if she knew that she would never have this moment again with Cory, would she have gotten back on? Because I know I wouldn't.

"Here?" Shawn questioned

"Here." I Smiled

"Your right, it's so gorgeous here." Shawn smiled

"I know. I found this place out on a drive once, but I never got out of the car. To be completely honest, I think I was with Dylan."

"I think there is something there, you know with you and Dylan."

"Yeah, there was. It's gone now."

"I don't think so."

"Can we please not talk about this, not about Cory, or Dylan, or anything else. Can we please pretend that nothing else is happening except for this moment right now." I said pushing the words out, afraid I would fall apart if I didn't get them out sooner.

"Yeah." He whispered as he turned the jeep off.

We sat there in silence for what felt like hours. I knew in the moment that things had changed. Shawn and I said more in the quietest of times, the silence had never been a bad thing, but this time, it was different.

Shawn sighed but continued to stare straight out the window.

The only thing I could think of were things that were already said. I wanted to say how nice the lake looked, how I wish Dylan and I were still friends, how I wish nothing was happening. I also didn't want to say anything.

Shawn threw the door open and went running out towards the lake. He didn't say anything, he just left. I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore.

I knew he was running from the silence, maybe trying to make me laugh but is random outbursts, but it felt more like leaving. I was here and he was gone.