INEVITABLE; taehyung [✓]

4;

i know the picture isn't taehyung related but honestly i think it's so funny

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i stared into my own eyes through the bathroom mirror, my hands placed on either side of the ceramic sink, my weight leant against them. i sighed, lifting one hand off of the sink, turning on the faucet and wetting the tips of my fingers, wiping the exhaustion from my eyes with a tad of cold water. i turned off the faucet, looking towards the door every so often, making sure nobody was going to enter the bathroom whilst i was in this state.

my mind kept flashing back to my sister. i stared at myself in the mirror, trying to force a smile on my face, but ending up looking like a sociopath in the end. i smacked the side of the sink, my ring making a clack sound against the ceramic siding. i glanced at my ring, inspecting the engraved lettering on top of it;

"jessica and jenna, sisters 5ever"

i cringed every time i read the quote, but i kept torturing myself by putting the ring on every morning. it was a necessity, jessica would've been ecstatic if she saw i wore the ring everyday.

my sister, jessica, was the brightest person i had ever met, brighter than miyoung, which said a lot. she was the epitome of child innocence, and completely charismatic. every person she met instantaneously fell in love with her charms, her voice, and her adorable personality.

she had the prettiest green eyes, which always withheld a beautiful sense of passion and love. her eyes were beautifully crafted, they were quite hooded like my fathers. she reminded me solely of an angel, her eyes were doe-like, extremely gentle, and her voice was soft. her pale skin was coated lightly with a layer of freckles- she was a red head.

we had the strongest bond i had ever had with somebody. we told each other everything, and kept those promises till' death did us part.

but, as sad as it was, death took one of us early.

at age 15, on December 30th of 2013, my sister was riding in a car with some friends. her friend had just turned 16, and had gotten her permit, and there was a wide range of ages within the car, a few had their own licenses. but, as it turned out, her friend wasn't one of the best drivers in winter, as they hit a black ice patch and spiraled out of control- ramming head-on into a semi-truck.

fortunately, a handful of the people inside survived, leaving with a minor spinal injury or severe scratches and bruises. unfortunately, my sister was not included in that handful.

she was flown on lifeline to a local hospital, where she fell into a coma, and later died. she died in my arms, her last words being, "never forget me." and, i never have forgotten her, she's always somewhere in my mind, guiding me through tough times and tough choices. her last words were another reason why i wear the ring she had specially made, she had the other one, and was buried with it on her finger. i felt that if i wore it, i had a materialistic piece of her still with me.

her death took a heavy toll on our family, which was the reason for my fathers affair, and for my parents eventual divorce. her death was also a factor in my immense change in character.

i became a misanthrope, a recluse, and chronically depressed. she's the reason i stay in my room, she's the reason i dislike people, she's the reason i'm sad.

one year later, on December 30th of 2014, i attempted suicide.

i locked myself in the bathroom whilst i was home alone, popped open a bottle of pills, and took as many i could before i blacked out.

my mother found me, unconscious and pale on the floor with the remnants of the pills scattered on the tile around me. she called 911, and they brought me to the hospital in a matter of minutes, hooked me up to an intravenous tube and immediately injected naloxone, and hours later, i woke up.