Remedy

Tomatoes.

I ran past the aisles of red circles, blurring past me. Before everything around me started to roll down, I picked up two strong tomatoes and quickly headed to the busy line. Then, I dropped it inside my grocery bag and let my left hand take over. The rainbow of different kinds of vegetables from green, yellow, and red were scattered around me, but I had no time to pay any attention to these. I felt a buzz inside my pockets vibrating my veins, and shocking my nerves. I felt a b-..(Ah, just kidding, it's not that bad.)  As my phone started to ring, beep beep, I reached out with my right hand to get it. Oh great, Leo. He knew what I was up to. I gave a quick click.

 "Hi Leo, what's up?" I ask.

"Hey, I just thought you wanted to tell me about something earlier?" 

"I did. I'll probably have to tell you a little later though. I'm currently on a serious mission to buying these pretty rad tomatoes for my parents." I look across me and see a huge line of thirty people ahead of me. The cheeky-freckled cashier wore a name-tag that said Bob on it. (Hello Bob, please hurry up) Everyone in the line started complaining by either wiping their sweaty, wet palms on the side of their thighs or poking a shoulder to question how long they will take til they can go home and eat. 

"Wow never mind, looks like I have a bit of extra time to tell you," I respond with bloodshot eyes and dried lips. He can't see my expression, so let's just say, my voice sounds like I'm gasping for needed air. I'm suffocating from claustrophobia or perhaps communication "apprehension" because there is a slight possibility these customers might jump me. 

"Alright, sounds good. Tell me away," he says behind the phone. 

"Well, uh. I.. don't know how to say it," my palms and eyes start to become sweaty, my feet becomes like jello, and heart starts to speed up inside my chest. I feel like I just swallowed a gum-ball but it's stuck inside.. Help? 

"It's okay. Take your time,"he responds.

"Question is, how do you know if I won't ever see someone again?" I ask.

"One, you don't get to hear from them in any way, which means they could either be dead, in the next stage of their life, or busy," he says. 

"Well, silence is the only answer I am receiving, I'm hoping this person isn't dead." I sigh.

"Truth be told, Rachel. If busy is one word you often hear, here's what I gotta tell ya. There are 24 hours in a day, and 168 total hours in a week. If a person works 12 hours a whole week, that's a total of 84 hours.  There is exactly 102 hours of free time left for them that whole specific week. If they can't squeeze in any hours between these 102 hours within a week for you, could it mean something? You are picking up tomatoes and it has been approximately two hours, which you have used within 24 hours of your free time. You have also used another double hours of conversation on this topic with me regarding Jose, and that makes 4 hours use of your free time. In other words, you just put Jose as a priority in your life by thinking and talking about him all day long. What about you? If this person has none of these extra spaces to fill you in-between their free hours, while you pick up tomatoes for a priority, aren't they a long lost friend? You tell me."

I stand there dumbfounded like someone just slapped me reality in the face. My hands become loose dropping the bag of tomatoes right out of my hands. They tumble out of the plastic bag, and dance around on the floor, finally coming to land three customers ahead of me. With a deep frustration, I take a deep breath trying to squeeze in more air inside my lungs. A long lost friend, already? From only a couple months?

"...But he has musical ear that I've never met.. Look, maybe it's just a situational attribution from both of our schedules. I'm sure I'll handle everything else in time...I just need to improve my perception instead of responding defensively with him. You know, b-by following a specific procedure where I use my skills to understand a person's behavior, test my accuracy by offering a non-judgmental description of their behavior, and then interpreting it! Besides, I still have time to r-request my clarification. In a hurry, gotta go!" I snap my phone shut and tuck it inside my pocket. 

"Wait, Rachel. I just don't want you hurt again.." he says right after my rushed and stuttered sentence. 

I'm hurt? It's Jose that got hurt numerous times. 

Too late to respond back, my phone is shut tight and firmly in my pocket. I look ahead with wild eyes, like a deer in the headlights. The tomatoes are still hopping their way about, and eventually they land near a customer's feet. A stranger runs with the bag of tomatoes in my direction. He seems familiar, but I don't notice, I only pay attention to how he holds the bag of tomatoes, because I really need it now, no time at all. 

"Is this yours?" a friendly voice with a touch of "I-don't-have-time-to-ever-mind-people-at-all" asks. 

As the stranger reaches out to hand me the bag, I take a few steps back. I give a quick glare to see if I recognize him. He is wearing a "Coldplay" orange T-shirt, cool, I'll get along. Wait, but I still don't think I even have anytime on my watch to react back, but this is a kind stranger who managed to leave a tedious, long line just to give me a bag of important potassium. How else will I express my gratitude? Therefore, I pick my head up and smile with a "Yes, thank you." A bell rings, a light-bulb blinks, and a smile it brings. He looks me in my dull eyes that could have been purple, but was getting gold. Right when he was about to say "your welcome," I jumped. I have been electric-shocked to the ground. 

"Rachel, is that you?" 

Two memories, only two, shuffled in my mind. The rest, probably from only one picture. The hellos and handshakes, the songs, and the long conversations encoded and decoded back and forth that could have continued longer if it was finished in person. A long lost friend, sweet young girl broken into pieces on the ground, and me pointing at portraits of sketches asking, "where are the names..where are the names?"  

It was an interpersonal communication for only 30 seconds or more. Therefore, is it possible to care so much about someone you just met? Of course, sure. Of.. My eyes became teary, and I became like the tomatoes that toppled out of the plastic bag. 

"How would you ever know?" I wiped my eyes. "And who was that song for?" 

"You're asking me this four months later!?"He asks me. 

"Uh..I..uh I mean..yes."