In It For The Long Run (Editing)

IIFTLR- You Know Nothing

HEY :)

Whoever is in Melbourne, what the heck is up with this heat? like a week ago we were all complaining that it was too cold and now..... 44 degree heat :/ 

Anyway enjoy the chapter :)

Comment your thoughts :)

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HaPPY ReADING <3

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Chapter 23

Nikki’s P.O.V

The days have blended into one big blur; they pass without your consent and forcefully put you to endure another day.

I have felt horrible, drained and slightly lifeless. I walk around breathing and putting on a fake smile when all I want to do is break down in a corner and sob my heart out.

Everyone in the house seemingly haven’t bought my fake act of happiness. I get worried and concerned glances every time I enter a room.

Sleep would’ve been a great outlet, a form of escaping reality but all I get is my fears in visual form, haunting my every move.

My nightmares are endless, I get the same one I got the first night replayed over and over, I get different ones too. I see all my fears replayed in front of me causing them to become a form of reality. I see my family and friends slaughtered, tortured and I can do nothing about it but watch it, over and over and over.

Demitri bolts into my room every night and ends up laying with me awake, comforting me until I fall asleep.

His presence that remains while I sleep soothes the nightmares to some level. They are dramatically reduced but they linger there as if waiting for my guardian to flee so they could strike at me, while vulnerable.

Demitri hasn’t asked about what happened since the first time I came back. I don’t know why he hasn’t, maybe to try keep me somewhat sane, maybe because he somehow knows what happened.

Oh gosh, if only I could tell them, warn them all of their fates, their devastating and heartbreaking fates but I can’t and I won’t tell them as long as I my ex is still alive.

I refuse to believe David is the mastermind behind this all though. I don’t doubt his intelligence and the fire within him, but the fire is a simple flame, not a furnace; which is what would be required to control all of this.

I miss the old David, the one I cared for and loved. He is long gone now, whether he was taken or willingly left was a different issue. But again, I refuse to believe this is what David wants, what his heart desires.

I didn’t miss the honesty in his threat. I don’t doubt he would do all that; he will do it but reluctantly. I saw it in his eyes, they showed his honesty but they also showed how much he didn’t want to do it.

He has been corrupted in some form. It hurts; it hurts a lot knowing that I can’t do anything to help him. I want to so badly help and pull him into a hug and tell him it is all okay.

Even if I wasn’t with Demitri I don’t think I would be David again. We were better as good friends than as boyfriend and girlfriend. I love him but I doubt I ever was in love with him.

“Nikki?” Esme calls while waving her hand in front of my face.

“Huh?” I ask, snapping me out of my daze. I seem to be doing that a lot, zoning out and living in my thoughts.