To say I'd been avoiding him was an understatement. I wasn't answering my phone and I'd unplugged my machine. I knew if he got to me, I'd crack. I'd be putty in his hands. I'd handled the logistics of Lindsey being gone to date but I was done with that as well. I wasn't going to leave him hanging but Richard would be here any minute to take care of a few loose ends for him.
Most of Lindsey's belongings were on the road with him but there were still a few odds and ends around the apartment. And if I was being honest this entire apartment was just full of memories to me.
The bell rang and I let Richard in, glad to see a familiar face. He gave me a friendly hug and helped himself to one of the remaining beers in our fridge, sitting down at the opposite end of the couch.
"Talk to me Stevie," he told me, taking a long drink. "How are you doing?"
I probably did need to speak to someone, I really hadn't been able to talk about Lindsey yet, even though it had been almost two weeks. My mother knew we'd broken up but I wasn't ready to open the whole can of worms as to why. Richard was different though. He knew Lindsey, and he knew us as a couple as well as anyone, so there was a certain level of understanding when it came to my relationship with Lindsey.
"How much did he tell you," I asked, fidgeting with the fringe on the throw pillow beside me.
I glanced up a Richard who was clearly deciding how to approach this with me.
"Honestly, Stevie, not much. I've known you guys for a long time, and I've never seen him like this. What in the hell happened?"
I gave him a brief rundown of the situation and he nodded his head slowly, obviously trying to determine what to say. I made it a little easier for him. "Look, I know you're friends with Lindsey, and I'm certainly not asking you to betray that confidence. I'm telling you what happened but Richard, please don't get involved. This is just the way that it has to be."
"You're right, Stevie. I'm not going to get involved. But I am going to say this- That man is driving himself crazy trying to get ahold of you. And the second he has even a free moment, I know he will be back here to make things right with you. You're his entire world and he's miserable without you."
I shook my head. "No. It's too late. He can't talk his way out of this one."
Richard sighed, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out two envelopes and handing them to me. "This one is paperwork, this one is, well, its sealed."
I took the envelopes from him, opening the first one and unfolding the documents. It was the title to his uncle's boat.
"He wants you to have it," Richard told me. "He won't take no for an answer. He's worried about you, Stevie, and he knows how hard you've worked to support him. He wants you back, but at the very least he needs to know you're financially taken care of."
I didn't say anything. I was just letting that sink in for a moment. "He's coming?" I questioned again. "He's going to come see me?"
"Yeah. You can't be surprised by that, Stevie. I mean, I know he messed up with you but you're his whole life. You outta know by now. He's not going to just let it go. This is all new for him."
"Well If that's movin up," I told him bluntly, "Then I'm movin out."
I chatted idly with Richard for a few more minutes before he left. If I'd learned anything about myself over the last weeks it was that I had to stay strong about this or I'd end up right back in the same situation with Lindsey that I just got out of. I couldn't see him or I'd just melt. I'm not saying it has to be forever, but I certainly need my space right now.
My things condensed themselves into only a few boxes and loaded the contents into my car. I couldn't be there anymore. I couldn't be waiting for him to come home. I had to pick myself up by the boot straps and move on with my life. I refused to run home. I wasn't giving up on my dreams just because Lindsey and I didn't work out. I was building a life for myself in this city and I wasn't about to quit now.
Parking my car and grabbing my purse I picked up a box out of my back seat containing the essentials I'd need for the night. I carefully made my way down the path, using my key on the locked entry. I searched for the light and flipped the switch, sitting my box down. I sighed, pulling out some blankets and a pillow and making the bed. I changed quickly into my nightgown and moved to lay down. I just wanted some sleep, I'd take care of everything else in the morning. I fluffed my pillow and sat down, the second envelope in my hand. I stared at Lindsey's distinct handwriting, scribbling my given name across the sealed envelope for quite a while. I couldn't bring myself to read the contents. I opened the bedside table and placed the envelope inside the top drawer, out of my line of sight, and clicked off the lamp.
I listened to the creaking of the dock lines in the still of the night and felt the gentle motion of the waves. I stared at the ceiling, looking around in the dark and taking in the surroundings. I suppose I better get comfortable because it appears that this boat, Lindsey's parting gift to me, is going to be my home for a while.
