Another double shift. Another drive home on fumes with no extra money for a full tank of gas. Another string of customers who didn't tip. A twelve hour day only for them to tell me that my hours are being cut for the next weeks since it's slow this time of year. Last night's call from my parents urging me to come home and finish school- I hadn't even mentioned that to Lindsey yet.
Buckingham Nicks didn't take off like we thought it would, and now we were trying to determine where to go from here. It wasn't going as we had planned when we moved down here. All this talk of opportunity. But it's been so long- and nothing has presented itself. I'm out of work, I'm out of my head. I'm out of self respect. My feet are killing me and my back aches but at least I'm home. Home to Lindsey. I drag myself out of my car and walk slowly through the courtyard, nodding quasi friendly exchanges with our neighbors. They were always so nice to me but it seemed that Lindsey certainly wasn't in anyone's good graces around here.
"Ms. Nicks! May I have a word?"
I stopped where I was, sighing a bit when I heard our landlord's voice. I turned to face him, and put on my best smile. I was well aware that my friendly demeanor was the only thing that kept us as occupants at this point. "Your rent, Ms. Nicks?"
I shifted my weight a bit. "I'll, um, I promise I'll have it to you by the end of the week. Just three more days. It's just that..."
He furrowed his brow, not even allowing me to finish, "Ms. Nicks, I like you, my wife and I both really do, but your rent is consistently late and we have warned your boyfriend about the constant noise. He is playing his guitar at all hours. It's disruptive to the other residents."
I nodded my head in understanding. "I'm sorry. I'll have the money by the end of the week, I swear. And I'll talk to Lindsey," I told him softly as he turned to walk away.
I made my way up the stairs and knocked on the door as my keys were in the bottom of my purse, already doing a juggling act with the flimsy paper sack filled with leftovers that I'd brought home from work.
"Lindsey," I called trough the door, shifting my belongings to my other arms to keep digging for the keys. "Linds, let me in!"
I finally lost my balance and dropped the bags, my things scattering. I groaned in frustration, collecting the items that had rolled away, finally pulling my key from my purse. I let myself in to a hazy house, smoke immediately filling my lungs. Lindsey didn't even open his eyes when the door slammed behind me. He simply lay on our couch, shirtless and in the same jeans he'd had on for a week, listening to a record.
"Lindsey." I tried again to draw him from his thoughts. "Linds?" I shook my head, taking in the disheveled state of our apartment. It looked like he hadn't done anything around here all day. It was becoming the norm for me to come home to this scene, and it was wearing me down.
"Mmm?" He somewhat acknowledged me.
"Oh just never mind," I spat.
Pulling me from my thoughts was Richard, exiting the bathroom and giving me a nod of recognition. He wandered to the fridge and pulled out a couple beers, pulling the tops off of them both and handing me one.
"I thought you two were supposed to be at the studio today," I questioned, taking the cold beverage.
"We were. We've been there every day this week. Just got back."
I began to put my things down and pick up the apartment, picking up the empty bottles and full ashtrays and putting away the contents of the bag I'd brought home.
Richard stood there for a while doing his own thing and finishing his beer before he grabbed his wallet and let me know he was going to walk down the street for a burger and another beer.
"You guys do your Stevie and Lindsey thing- he needs you and nobody else can reach him right now," he said softly, so that only I could hear. "But Go easy on him, Stevie. He, uh, he had a really tough day."
I closed the door behind Richard and sighed. What could it be now? I walked over to Lindsey on the couch and sitting down for a quick moment. I placed my hand on his cheek and looked at him as he reached out and pulled me close. I lay on top of him, my head on his chest as he rest his hand on my back. I felt him bury his face in my hair.
"I love you," he offered.
I kissed his cheek. "And I love you. Lindsey, what happened today?"
I felt his body stiffen a bit. "Nothing important," he kissed me on the top of the head.
I sat up. "Lindsey, seriously. You have to talk to me. Don't shut me out. I can tell something's wrong."
"Alright. I was at Sound City today and I got an offer to join a band. Fleetwood Mac."
My head was spinning. "You did? You-- we--- Lindsey, what?"
"Ugh, God," he groaned, "They only need a guitarist. I told them we're a package deal, babe, and they passed. It was good money but I'm not doing it without you. It's not a big deal."
I was stunned. "You did that for me? And you're okay with it?"
"Of course. We're a package deal, angel," he told me.
I lay down again on the couch, running my nails across his chest. I felt somewhat guilty. What if he had missed his chance because of me? I was pulled from my thoughts as he began to undress me, completely distracting both of us from our current thoughts. I followed suit, aggressively climbing on top of him, each of us expressing our thoughts without words.
Lindsey nodded off soon after and I gently covered him with a blanket as I hopped into the shower, clicking the radio as I stepped in and let the steaming hot water hit my shoulders and run down my back. I was also so sure success was going to come knocking, but we were running out of time and running out of options. What if passing on this offer was missing his big shot? I stepped under the faucet and let the hot water conceal the hot tears running down my face.
I got a little bit lost in the soft melody filling the room and began to sing along with the radio.
"Seems it never rains in southern California
Seems I've often heard that kind of talk before
It never rains in California, but girl, don't they warn ya?
It pours, man, it pours..."
