I had to- I had to get to Lane. No matter it would take. I stood tall, walking with intent right into the flashes, the lights exploding in my face as I attempted to no avail to shield myself from the cameras. My ears rang, the the high pitch buzzing somehow therapeutic when compared to the questions being shouted at me from such close proximity. I blocked it all out- I blocked them all out.
I punched in my code on the door and squeezed through, slamming the wrought iron gate behind me in their faces. The shouting didn't stop though- the questions continued and I knew this wasn't going away. I quickly boarded the boat, which barely even received privacy in the third slip. I sent the babysitter on her way to her parents at the end of the dock and tried to get my bearings about me. I ran my fingers along the counter, drumming them to release some portion of my current anxiety coupled with the encroaching sadness I felt over the sudden loss of the peace I had felt all night.
I changed out of my formal gown and slid quickly into a pair of cut off shorts and an oversized ivory colored sweater. I perched on the side of Lane's bed where he slept peacefully, so blissfully unaware of what was going on just a few feet away. I gently pushed a curl out of his face and forced myself to focus.
Think, Stevie, think.... what are you going to do? How are you going to get him out of here? I bit my index finger as I concentrated on the issue at hand. It came to me and I jumped into action, quickly making a few phone calls, trusting only people I could be sure of. I was careful not to startle Lane as I slipped a small life jacket on him. His eyes batted open briefly and he looked at me, but fell back into peaceful dreams as I handed him his favorite stuffed animal .
I quickly pulled my hair into a loose braid, slipped my feet into an old pair of Sperrys and knew it was time to get to work. I climbed back out to the helm, closing the door mostly behind me, leaving only a crack so I could hear Lane if needed but he couldn't be seen. Working as quickly as I could I scurried around the boat in the shadows of darkness, staring it, throwing the lines off and slipping away. The flashes from shore didn't cease, at least a dozen photographers now lined up on the sea wall. I looked straight ahead, slowing motoring to safety between the channel markers leaving the marina.
It was barely past midnight though the stillness of the evening make it seem later. The sky was all but barren of a moon that night and the ocean drank in the empty darkness. As we slid along at full sail I was mostly silent, the gentle crash of the waves meeting my hull lulling me into a comfortable haze, interrupted only by the hollow clink of the sheets against the mast.
I let out an audible sigh once I was on course, the wind picking up off of the ocean and blowing some stray strands of hair from my face. I felt a light spray from the dark water hit my bare legs as I navigated down the coast.
Once my adrenaline leveled off and I began to think a bit more clearly, the implications of what had just happened sank in. My time at the marina, my home for the last 4 years, my sanctuary through the most difficult time in my life, was ending. I wouldn't be able to go back. Lane and I would never be allowed to live in that kind of privacy now.
My relationship with Lindsey was about to change too. I knew we'd never be able to have a simple life. To go back to the easy days in our little apartment- when we'd only first moved in together. We'd have a whole new set of challenges in the morning. The ease at which we had settled back into our love astounded me, but that would all soon be upended. I mourned what I knew would be the end of simplicity.
Time stood still for those moments as I glided towards my next destination, I was alone and I felt so free, baby Lane tucked safely away below. I savored my last minutes of solace. My last moments of anonymity.
It wasn't lost on me, either, the manner in which I was currently fleeing this part of my life. Running away, quickly, to find privacy, much in the same way I came to the marina to begin with.
After some time I turned into the coast, motoring slowly into the channel. I'd been here once before, but I still remained alert in the somewhat unfamiliar waters. It was the middle of the night and I was running on adrenaline and one cup of warm tea. I saw the slip that had been reserved for me as soon as I entered the marina and quickly docked Frozen Love.
As soon as I stepped onto the dock to cleat the last line I could feel immediately feel the shift within me. The stability of the dock was almost harsh on my sea legs and I knew that it marked the beginning of a new startling reality.
