The Bob Duncan Experience

part 8

"bob you're 60 over the speed limit!" dan exclaims. bob waves him off.

"slow down for fucks sake" pete shouts.

"we're making up for lost time" bob explains, trying to justify his actions.

"if you don't slow down the polic-" evan is cut off by police sirens.

"im surrounded by 6 idiots. im on a road trip to vegas with 6 morons. am i suicidal or something?" gerard starts mumbling.

"just keep going" evan says. everyone looks at him.

"it's. the. fucking. police" gordon says.

"i know, just keep going" evan says. bob shrugs and does as told. in fact, he starts going 80 over the limit.

"im actually going to die with you guys" gerard blinks.

"this is fucking liberating!" charlyze exclaims.

"please pullover your vehicle immediately" the police says through a speaker on the car. bob opens his window and flips the officer off.

"okay let's just pullover" dan calmly says. bob sighs but starts pulling over nonetheless. the police cruiser pulls in after them. a very short man comes out of the car. he isn't even wearing a uniform.

"who the hell are you?" bob accuses.

"definitely not a police officer that's for sure" the midget man winks.

"name. now" gerard demands, pulling out his gun.

"calm down there trigger happy, the names bruno, bruno mars"

"so do you want to like, come with us or?" dan trails off.

"yee!" bruno shouts like a dinosaur. he hops into the back of the van.

"so what were you doing in that police car?" gordon asks.

"found it in a parking lot in burger king after the police were called for some break in, decided to take it for a spin and play cops and robbers" bruno explains. everyone feigns a look of innocence.

"so where're we going?" bruno questions.

"vegas to get bert and ernie here married" gerard explains, gesturing at bob and dan.

"oh well count me in my homo-sapiens" bruno chuckles "see what i did there, homo-sapiens because you're homo's?"

"fucking hilarious" charlyze sputters out in laughter.

"okay so we're getting closer to vegas, we should probably stop at a gas station. idk how we haven't run out of gas yet lol" bob pipes up.

"true, good idea bobbypoo" dan says as he turns up the radio. mark thomas' song selfie starts playing.

"hey babygirl" dan sings.

"i gots to see you right now" bob joins in, very off key.

"cause if i don't im gon' go crazy babe" pete chimes in.

"yeah girl" charlyze sings the echoes.

"can you take a selfie for me?" evan joins.

"post it up real sexy for me" gordon sings.

"let me know that you're ready for me" bruno sings

"selfie for me" gerard reluctantly sings along. he likes to pretend he's too cool for these guys, but really really really really deep down he loves them. kind of. sort of. a little.

"mark's voice resembles that of an angels" dan sighs dreamily.

"i love mark more than i love blood on the dance floor" bob says.

"oh yeah how i adore their song scream for my ice cream" charlyze pipes up.

"such musical geniuses" evan says.

"who even is beyoncé?" pete asks.

"oh would you look at that, there's a gas station placed very conveniently after we mentioned we needed one, thanks god" bob tell them.

"amen" charlyze says.

"i believe it is pronounced as 'ah men', because homosexuality is our religion" dan corrects.

"ah men" everyone says in unison as bob pulls into the gas station.

hours 'till vegas: 4