The Bob Duncan Experience

part 4

"pull over!" charlyze suddenly yells.

"bitch we're on the freeway" dan screeches.

"but look at those 2 hitchhikers" she persists.

"hold on tight everyone!" bob yells as he swerves over a couple lanes to pull over. he hits 7 cars and 1 biker. where the hell are the police?

"get in losers we're hitting up vegas" charlyze says out the window.

the 2 guys look at each other and then shrug.

"okay" one of them says. they hop in the back and bob speeds off, hitting a school bus.

"well im dan, this is my soon-to-be husband bob and charlyze. what're your names?"

"im pete wentz"

"and im evan peters"

"do you wanna come to me and dans wedding in vegas?" bob chimes in. they both nod.

"lol this is going to be lit" bob says. dan nods. suddenly bobs 80 year old cell phone rings.

"can you get that babe?" he asks dan. dan nods and picks up the phone.

"yo" dan says.

"bob where the fuck are you?!" some bitch screeches on the other end.

"who the fuck are you?" dan quips.

"this is amy, bobs wife"

"bitch tf? im heading to vegas to get hitched with bob" dan smugly says.

"what the fuck?! bob get your ass over here now" amy shouts.

"no amy im with your man and you can't do anything about it, so get over it, sorry sweetie" dan shrugs.

"i will stop this wedding at all costs. you haven't heard the last of amy dunc-" dan hangs up the phone and cuts amy off.

she's a loud ass, annoying bitch.

"can we get something to eat?" evan pipes up. bob growls at him.

"yeah sure lol" dan says. bob gives him an incredulous look.

"dude im starving" dan shrugs. bob sighs, but takes the exit of the highway.

"taco bell?" bob asks.

"yes" everyone chorused. bob pulled up to the taco bell drive thru.

"beep beep motherfucker" bob says out his window.

"oh, uh, hello this is ashley, welcome to taco bell what can i get for you?" comes out of the ordering machine thing. who knows what the fuck it's called.

"9 big macs please" bob says.

"uh, sir, we dont uh, we don't have those here"

"im pretty sure you do" bob sings.

"uh, no, you're confusing us with mcdonalds"

"no im not. you have big macs and i want 9" bob insists. bob argues with this stupid 'ashley' bitch for a couple minutes until he finally gets her to go make him 9 big macs to go.

"that'll be $15 sir" ashley the stupid taco bell worker says once they're at the window.

"nope, it'll be free because you took so fucking long. gotta blast. see you never bitch." bob answers. he yanks the bag outta her hands and zooms off.

dan gazes lovingly at bob. dan loved how cheap bob was. cheapskates are so sexy. they all opened their burgers and ate in harmony.

bob even chewed dans food before he ate it.

relationship goals.

hours 'till vegas: 8