The Bob Duncan Experience

part 9

"so i'll do the gas, dan, pete and gerard get the snacks, evan and bruno get the drinks, charlyze and gordon distract the cashier so we don't have to pay" bob says to everyone. they all agree.

everyone goes to do their jobs.

"so what snacks should we get?" dan asks pete and gerard as charlyze, gordon, evan and bruno head into the store.

"uh, chips?" pete asks, scrunching his nose. they had no fucking clue what they were doing.

"candy" gerard pipes up. dan nods. they head in the store and walk past the clerk.

"okay grab as much as you can" dan instructs. dan, pete and gerard start stuffing their bodies with snacks. pockets, sleeves, hoods, bodily crevices, the whole shebang really.

dan peeks over the aisle cause he's a tall ass motherfucker and sees that bruno and evan have done the same with drinks.

using his giraffe neck, he nods to charlyze and gordon to start distracting.

charlyze hops on the counter and starts twerking like nicki minaj. gordon does the whip and nae nae, and the clerk is entranced with their graceful body movements.

dan, pete, gerard, evan and bruno tiptoe past them and out of the store to where bob is waiting in the car.

charlyze and gordon notice and follow suit. everyone then hops into the car and bob drives away, with the car still attached to the pump. as soon as bob starts up the van and drives, the gas leaks everywhere.

coincidentally a man drops his cigarette butt at the same time, igniting a fire. bob speeds away and in the distance they see the gas station explode.

"what are the chances?" bruno gapes.

"kaboom" charlyze whispers in awe.

"anyhoo, let's forget about that whole thing, because everyone obviously died so it's not our problem anymore" bob advises the group.

"who even builds a store that close to gas?" pete asks.

"my money's on amy" dan bitterly says, hating that loud ugly bitch.

"there weren't even that many cars there anyway" gordon says.

"except for those 3 church group buses" evan chimes in "god bless their souls cause they dead af"

there's an awkward silence for a little before it's broken.

"soooo" gerard starts "who wants doritos and mountain dew?"

so to forget about them starting a massacre that killed a bunch of jesus lovers, they ate jesus' sacred food and drink- doritos and mountain dew, and listening to the most holy of music- marilyn manson.

hours 'till vegas: 3