The Bob Duncan Experience

part 2

bob fell off his chair.

he was so excited. he immediately clicked on this 'dan howell'.

"he's whiter than my left ass cheek" bob gasped. bob found pasty white people so attractive.

don't even get him started on casper the ghost.

what a babe.

"look at those deep af dimples" bob says, amazed. bob was in a trance. he was mesmerized.

bob decided to message dan.

theexterminator: hey daddy ;)

he waited a couple of minutes until a reply came.

icanmakeyouhowell: hey bbyboy xx

bob's eyes widened. he's the one.

theexterminator: do you wanna be my daddy?

icanmakeyouhowell: omg yes

theexterminator: i have a dumbass bitch wife and 5 lame ass kids, can i run away with you?

icanmakeyouhowell: yass of course i love you bbyboy. i'd do anything for you.

bob blushed at this. no one has ever made him feel this loved. normally, bob hated everyone and everything, but he didn't hate dan.

bob made plans for dan to come pick him up at 4 pm so they could run off to vegas and get hitched. they talked for 10 more minutes until they both needed to get ready.

bob raced into his room and grabbed his suitcase. he stuffed in all his clothes, because let's be real, bob only had 4 different pairs of shirts, 2 pairs of pants and 1 pair of undies.

"dad what are you doing?" pyjamas dumbly asked bob as he was about to leave his room. bob contemplated answering this stupid kid but decided better of it and instead, body chucked him to the ground and jumped him.

"gotta blast" bob shouts as he bounds down the stairs. then bob notices his baby that he can never remember the name of.

"sorry kid, but im outta here" he says. Then he walks straight outta the house and hops in his big mobile. he throws this suitcase in the back and puts the pedal to the medal.

bob wanted to get dan a gift before they met up and got hitched in vegas.

bob zoomed down the street in his nasty ass car with the big ass bug on it. he set a new record for his driving-he only hit 3 people this time.

"those damn old farts needa move outta my way, because here comes the bobster" bob mutters.

bob parks his car illegally and runs into the store as fast as his fat ass legs can take him.

"hey, im hick rarrison and this is my porn shop" the store clerk says.

"i dont care lol" bob says. he makes his way to the back of the store and grabs a pack of bug-printed condoms.

"hopefully we'll be using these tonight" he trails off. then he walks right past hick and leaves the store without paying. honestly, hick could care less, this wasn't his store, it was actually lumchee's, so people can do whatever the fuck they want.

bob hopped in the big mobile after he put the special gift in the back and drove back to his house to wait outside for dan.

he laid on the porch and took a nap. he woke up to someone shaking him. he slowly sat up and rubbed his crusty eyes and wiped his dirty mouth. he finally looked up and saw-

casper the pervy ghost, dan howell.