The Broken One

Chapter 19- August Fun

After an extremely emotional goodbye to Hailey, Sophie, Marcus, and Jake, August approached and Ryder and I still hadn't talked since my birthday. Matt had graduated from college so he found a job close to us so he could stay with Connor and I.

School was starting next week and I honestly wasn't sure how I feel about it. I just really wanted to finish and move on. I had made so many mistakes in my life, I was just now starting to fix them. School was one of the biggest ones, I was going to do it right this time. Staying out of trouble, doing all my homework, and actually making an effort. I also had to keep Sophie and Hailey updated on my life at least once week. Today happened to be that day.

"Hey Hailey." I said when she picked up the phone.

"Harley I love New York! It's so cool- huh? Okay and Marcus says hi and to stop being a scaredy cat and talk to Ryder and I agree but I won't make you do anything you don't want to do, so all I'm saying-" she said all in one big breath.

"Jeez Hailey breathe and as much as I would love to talk to Ryder he doesn't want to see me," I reminded her.

"Why are girls so complicated?" I heard Marcus mutter. I was about to respond when I heard a huge crash.

"Don't ever say that about women again or I'll throw something other than my sunglasses," Hailey said to him. I heard Marcus apologize and they started to kiss.

"Ew guys I'm still here, but I'm not going to interrupt so I'll call you back later," I said laughing to myself.

"Bye Harley," Hailey said giggling and hung up. They were such a cute couple, Marcus was wrong, boys were the complicated ones. I sighed my heart ached at the thought of Ryder. I pushed it out of my mind and I decided to call Sophie, she answered immediately.

"Harley I missed you! What's up?" She screamed into the phone. In the background I heard Jake tell her to lower her voice before the whole east coast woke up. "Nothing much I just wanted to see how you're doing."

"Great, Boston is amazing, the only problem is everybody loves the Patriots."

"What? How is that a problem?" I asked.

"Because I hate them, they suck."

"They what," I asked angrily.

"Okay forget I said that, have you talked to Ryder?"

"Not since my birthday," I said annoyed the conversation had once again shifted to Ryder.

"Well, go talk to him," Sophie urged.

"No Soph I can't, whenever he see me he quickly looks away and I'm left standing there like the idiot I am," I said glumly. Suddenly, I heard a lot of shuffling and then Jake's voice.

"You're the idiot? For what? Wanting to be with him? Harley that does not make you an idiot before you had your accident, you guys were inseparable. No one made Ryder smile the way you did, and at the end of the day you had each other to lean on, " Jakes said. "I remember all the stupid things you guys did together, Marcus and I knew it was love at first sight, if you both weren't so stubborn and so convinced you didn't have to share your feelings you would be together right now," Jake continued.

"Wow Jake you should give relationship advice for a living," I muttered still hovering over Jakes words. I hung up a little while later and continued to think about it. Ryder and I did cause trouble in every class we were in together, we did everything possible to get kicked out of class so we could hang out and have fun together, and at night he was always there for me. I never realized Ryder had needed me too. I left him for almost half a year and all this time he had needed me and wanted me back just as much as I did.

Regardless of what his past held, I should have been there instead of being a stupid kid and running away when it got tough. I thought about my adventures with Lucas, Max, and Daniel. I was so stupid, I ran away just because I could. I never listened and now that I was, it was too late. I so desperately wanted to run my hand through his hair and tease him like I used to. My heard longed for the way he held me. I knew I had to say something but I was so scared, what if he had moved on? Eventually I decided that I needed to know either way and the responsible me would be mature enough to reach out and talk to him. So that's what I did. I texted him asking if he wanted to talk. I didn't get an immediate response so I stared at the phone until it finally buzzed. I almost dropped it in my excitement. He agreed. I quickly went over to his place. I don't think I had ever moved faster.

I went over onto his balcony and he opened the door for me. Not much had changed about him other than the fact that he wasn't smiling as I walked in. I missed the way he smirked at me. I sat down on the bed and he saw down next to me. We sat in awkward silence for about five minutes before Ryder finally broke the silence. "Have you talked to him?"

"Daniel? No, but I still talk to Lucas and Max. They are going to University of Oregon this year," I said.

"Oh okay," he said awkwardly.

"Um how was your space?" I asked clearly embarrassed that I had to ask that.

He gave me a funny look. "It was okay, I had a lot of time to think," he replied. "My aunt and uncle are back now too."

"Oh cool I'll make sure to stop by and see Megan when she's home," I said nodding.

"Yeah she'd like that," he said.

Why was it so hard for us to talk about what we were feeling? It was tearing me up inside. So much so I decide to suck it up and say what I was thinking.

"Look Ryder, I don't know what to say or how to word this, but can we just talk again I really miss you and I don't know, I just want you back in my life."

He studied my expression for awhile. His green eyes piercing into my grey ones. "Yeah I want that too," he said finally. "So friends?" he added.

My heart sank. "Yeah," I finally managed to say barely above a whisper. I got up and left for my room. I felt my heart break all over again. Did he just friend zone me?