Idfc

Chapter four.

(Mentions of suicide)

Raegan's pov. (In his dream.)

I woke up, and realized where I was, ugh another day of cleaning. I started to like it here. But cleaning and cooking gets boring. Kale barely helps anymore. He hangs out with Jack most of the time. I'm very lonely, except for Michael, he's like my new best friend! He's literally my older brother I swear, we have so much in common it's scary. But I still cut, Kale's noticed, because when I do the dishes I have to roll up my sleeves, but he just doesn't seem to care anymore. Michael cares. He always comforts me now. It's like Kale hates me.

I got up and got dressed, and went down stairs to clean up the living room. Since both Justin and Danny had a sleep over last night with Ryan. I'm guessing they went up to Justin's and Danny's shared room at 4am. Crazy guys. I started cleaning. Folding the blankets, fluffing the couch pillows, and fixing the cushions. I then got the broom and started sweeping all the mess the boys made. Such as chip crumbles, candy spills, sugar from those candy spills. I also clean up all the pop/soda those guys went through.

Kale came down stairs, and scoffed when he saw me. He rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen. I just looked down. My cuts stung from last night. I don't think Kale noticed but whatever it's not like he cared anyways. I finished cleaning and made my way to the kitchen. Even though it's mostly always clean, I always wash the counters and swept the floors. The criminal guys really appreciate me doing all this. They do appreciate Kale when he actually cleans, which isn't very often. I walked in and spotted Kale having a can of soda/pop.

"Ugh why are you in here?" He's voice laced with disgusted.

"I need to clean Kale, I have to be here." I stated.

"Well go clean something else." He spat at me.

"Everything else is cleaned, it's just the kitchen now." I said in an obvious tone.

"Ugh you see this is why I hate you." Ouch that hurt, my eyes filled with tears.

"See your so pathetic, crying." What? Why he doing this.

"I can't believe I was ever friends, with someone like you." He said and got up to leave.

"You should just kill yourself already." He said and left after that. Was what he said true? Of course it was my inner self told me. Oh... Maybe I should kill myself. I finished cleaning and went back into the room I stayed in alone, since Kale sleeps in Jacks room. I got the rope I found not that long ago and tied a noose, then tied the other end to the ceiling fan that hung in the middle of the room.

I started writing Kale and everybody a letter.

Dear everybody.

I'm sorry I couldn't do this anymore. Living. Breathing. It's none of your guys fault. It's mine. I did this to myself. I don't really have anything to say but goodbye...

Sincerely Raegan Beast...

With that I left the letter on the bed and got on the chair I had in the room. I put my head into the noose hole, and pushed the chair from underneath me. I instantly fell into death.

(End of Raegan's dream.)

I was woken up by someone shaking my shoulders violently. I shot up, almost instantly. I gasped for air. I opened my eyes, and looked at my surroundings. Michael's room. It was just a dream. A dream that seemed so real. Does Kale actually hate me? Michael was the one shaking me awake. I looked at him scared, he could tell. He pulled me into his chest and hugs me. I hug back. When we pull away he bombarded me with questions.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I had a dream, a very realistic dream, it seemed so real." I told him.

"What was it about?" Michael questioned.

"Kale hated me, and he told me to kill myself, and I did. That's all I remember really." I explained my dream to him briefly.

"Rae I can assure you that Kale doesn't hate you." He said to me.

"How?" I asked him.

"When we robbed that bank in Maryland, and found you, we were only going to take you, but the way you held Kale like he was your only thing to protect. I couldn't separate you guys, you guys are best friends, brothers even. I can assure you that Kale doesn't hate you." Michael said to me. I nodded meaning I understood him.

"Good now let's go make breakfast because I'm starved!" He said laughing. We got up and walked downstairs. The only people up, were Ashton, Danny, and Luke. I smiled at Danny and he gave me a tired smile back. I made my way to the fridge, opening it to see what I could make. I saw eggs and bacon, I showed Michael and he nodded. Okay eggs and bacon it is.

I grabbed two bacon packages and opened them, I got an oven pan and heated the oven up. I placed the two packs of bacon on the sheet. And put it in the oven, I set the timer for twenty minutes. I got another stove top pan and started making sunny side up eggs. I made twenty seven eggs! Wow. The bacon was done now. I put three eggs on each plate (theres nine plates) and at least four pieces on each plant and handed them out. All the others were up by now. Kale offered to help, but I told him I got it. He sat down with the rest of the boys eating his breakfast, but I still stood waiting till everyone else was done eating.

I wasn't going to eat. I only made enough to feed all the others but myself. I made twenty seven eggs, and thirty six pieces of bacon. If I were to eat I would've have had to make thirty eggs, and forty pieces of bacon but I didn't need to eat. Even though I only had a small portion of spaghetti last night. That was enough, it's all I need for at least two or three days.

Kale noticed I was just awkwardly standing there. He motioned for me to come over, I did I awkwardly pulled out the chair beside him and sat down.

"Hey Rae what's wrong? Your not eating, and you love food?" Kale said, and it was true I loved food, but eating made me fatter so I only really eat when I'm around Kale. But after that dream this morning I'm just not in a mood to eat.

"Just not that hungry I guess." I shrugged my shoulders.

"You sure, I mean your an amazing cook when it comes to breakfast foods." He told me.

"Kale just drop it okay? It doesn't matter." I said getting frustrated with him. I heard him sigh. Then Michael spoke up.

"Kale I want to talk with you after." He said to Kale and Kale got really scared. After everyone finished eating, Kale and Michael left, along with everyone else and I started to clean up. Putting all the dishes in the sink, after I filled it with bubbly clean water. I wiped the table and fixed all nice, pushing all the chairs in. I smiled and went to wash the dishes. But I was stopped by Justin.

Kale's pov.

I followed Michael upstairs to what seemed like his room. It was nice. Had dark blue walls, posters of all sorts of bands hung on the walls. He had a desk with a laptop resting on it. His bed was messy and was covered with dark blue sheets. His closet was closed and I saw the light to a bathroom. He sat down on his bed and I sat down with him. He breathed in deeply, before he shakily spoke.

"Has Raegan ever tried to kill himself?"