Idfc

Chapter eight.

---Trigger warning---

Raegan's pov.

Me and Kale decided for our 'Kale and Rae day' we're going too have a Disney movie marathon. One because we're both not allowed to go outside, two we don't really have anything else to do and three we both love Disney movies. We picked out our favourite Disney movies, there was 'frozen', 'tangled', 'mulan', 'finding nemo', 'the lion king', 'big hero 6', 'wreck it Ralph'. We loved the messages behind them. They were very helpful.
I got blankets and pillows and Kale got drinks and popcorn. Once we both got comfy, I pressed play and frozen began playing.

We sat there and no matter how many times me and Kale watched frozen, it never didn't get exciting. We were at the part where they just fell off the cliff after the weird snow monster chased them. Kale was laughing because he said that's how Jack acted in the mornings when he didn't want to wake up. Which I laughed about too. Once we finished frozen we watched Big Hero 6 and we both cried when baymax died. Saddest thing in the world when your Disney child, is when a great character dies. After that we watched Tangled and The Lion King. It was when we were having a break before we were going it started watching Wreck-it-Ralph.

Jack woke up, I guess, because he came down stairs wondering around for Kale. He found Kale with me. He was going to take Kale again. But I don't think Kale's going to stop him. I'm beginning to think Kale's going to actually to leave me for good. Not just temporarily, I mean forever. Like he's going to just leave me for Jack and I'm scared. The one person I ever cared for and he cared for me. Is going to leave me. He promised he wouldn't. But promises get broken. Kale came back holding Jacks hand.

"Is it alright if Jack watches the rest of the movies with us? He's getting kinda lonely up stairs all alone without me, and I can't let that happen to my baby." Kale said trying to reason with me.

"You know what Kale, I'm done with you. Jacks more important then me, and don't try to deny it, because we both know it's the truth. You just won't admit it, because your afraid of being wrong. I'm done with you constantly ignoring me for your boyfriend. This seems like every drama novel I've ever read. I'm not living a story. This isn't some fairy tail. You've going to have to realize your in love with one of your kidnappers son. His fathers a criminal. He's a criminal." I was livid. He can't do this to me anymore. I'm broken and he knows that and he's breaking me more. Piece by piece I'm breaking and one day I'm going to be completely shattered. I didn't think that day was today...

"No Raegan I think it's you who can't accept that I'm happy with someone for once and your not happy for me. Your jealous because I'm happy and your not. I found someone who actually loves me and you still have no one but me. Your constantly attached to me and I'm done with you being so clingy." Kale spat at me, his comments burning through me like paper on fire. My heart shattered completely, tears flowed down my face. I walked passed Kale and he stood still. I rushed up stairs and into my room. I began crying violently, my body shaking with every sound that came out of my body. My head faced with processing everything that just happened.

Kale didn't care. He never cared about me. He just said himself.

I searched around my room for my bag. I needed a relief. I couldn't drink, drugs were out of the picture. The only thing left to do is cut. Everything's been so hard. I make it seem so easy. But I'm breaking. And Kale the only person who cared for me. My brother. My best friend. He just shattered me. When I finally found my bag, I dug around and pulled out the container I kept my blades in. I opened it and I seemed crazy. I smiled. I took one of the five I had. They were just small pencil sharpener blades. I took one and rolled up my sleeve. I slid the blade across not once, not twice, but twenty seven times. They weren't shallow either. They were deep. My blood was dripping onto my jeans. My arm was covered. I was cleaned for three week and I just blew that.

I was getting dizzy. Tired I laid down, not caring if someone found me like this. Laying on the ground, my blood surrounding me. My arm sliced, my tear stained face. My skin was probably pale. And at this moment I didn't care if I died or not. I laid there and I could almost feel my eyes roll back. If I died today, I would finally be happy. Away from all the pain. Leaving behind nothing basically. My body fell numb, I couldn't process what was happening anymore. My mind went blank. I stared at the ceiling kind of wishing I was dead.

I was tired of everything, lying, pretending, breathing, living. I didn't know why life had to be so hard on me. What did I do to deserve this? Like why did this have to happen to me. Why'd I have to be such a mistake and so worthless. I couldn't feel anything. I wasn't in the world anymore. But I heard something. I tried to focus. I only heard the yelling of voices to which seemed to be someone I knew, but I couldn't pin it. They were yelling words of uncertainty, clearly panicking. I did hear some words.

"I thought you said you weren't gonna leave me..." The voice said. That's when it clicked.

Justin.

(A/n: so that happened... I hope you enjoyed that. Because I cried. So well I'm trying to update quite normally. Because this book is really good, at least I hope it is. Well anyways bye, I hope you guys enjoyed!)