Idfc

Chapter nine.

Kale's pov.

"No Raegan I think it's you who can't accept that I'm happy with someone for once and your not happy for me. Your jealous because I'm happy and your not. I found someone who actually loves me and you still have no one but me. Your constantly attached to me and I'm done with you being so clingy." I spat at Raegan. I didn't even what I did before Raegan pushed passed me and went up the stairs. I stood there blank expression. My body was like it was frozen. Why did I have to do that? I just fucked up another thing I had.

I collapsed down on the floor. My legs giving out from under me. My whole body felt like jello. I broke down, I can't believe I said that to him. I'm supposed to be his best friend, his brother, I'm supposed to protect him from the hurting, not cause it...
I sobbed and sobbed on the ground. I felt Jack wrap his arms around me, bringing me into his chest. I just sobbed more.

"HELP!!!!!!! KALE!!!!!!! JACK HELP!!!!!!!" I heard Justin yell? I felt like I couldn't move but I did. This sounded important. So I ran as fast as my limbs could carry me. When I got to Raegan's room. My heart shattered. I ran to his side. I grabbed him. I cradled him to my chest, holding him so close. Jack put his hand on my shoulder and I knew I had to give Raegan to Jack or he would die. I handed him to Jack, I watched as Jack picked him up and brought him the bath room. He got out a whole bunch of medical supplies. He got out a needle and thread too... That scared me.

Actually just the thought of what I did scared me. I caused Raegan to be here. This is all my fault. If I would have just been a good best friend, Raegan wouldn't be here. Raegan could die. If he did die, I wouldn't be able to live. I know I've been acting like, well a dick. Normally I'd make a dick joke but this is no time for my dick jokes. Tears were rushing down my face as I watched my boyfriend, Jack, fix and mend my best friends arms. I watched him put alcohol on them to clean them. I watched him stitch and bandage them. Watching him do that to Raegan, broke my heart.

I should've known Raegan brought his blades. If he had fresh cuts from before we arrived here, he would've brought them. Even if he didn't have them, he could've bought some or found some. I'm such a idiot. A blind fucking idiot. After Jack was done with Raegan he took him back to his room and laid him on the bed. I pulled up the desk chair he had in here. I sat next to him and just watched him. It's not creepy. I'm sitting here regretting and feeling guilty. Jack or Justin one of the two took Raegan's blades.
I wanted them, to use. I've been a year clean, but I just feel so fucked up. I almost killed my best friend...

"Raegan I'm sorry, I know sorry doesn't cut every apology. I know what I said and what I did was wrong, Rae I love you. As friends of course but I love you. Jack loves you too. He thinks your funny. I think your funny. I know Justin likes you. I can see it. Please don't go. We need you here. The world needs Raegan Beast. The world needs the funny, loveable Rae I know is there. So please Raegan don't go, stay with me." I looked down and grabbed his lifeless hand. I squeezed it and got up too leave but Raegan's hand squeezed back. I looked down and Raegan had his eyes open, very lazily but they were open.

"Oh my god, Rae, I'm so so sorry, I love you please don't leave me. I know I'm such a idiot-" I rambled.

"Hey Kale?" He interrupted.

"Yeah Rae?" I answered.

"Do me a favour and shut up will you? I gotta killer headache." He said moving his hands up to rub his head.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that." I apologized.

"Hey guys- oh my god Rae what happened?" Michael barged in and asked concerned.

"Oh um he just-" I tried to answer but Raegan interrupted again.

"I tried to kill myself. By accident? I think, I don't know, I cut deep, I didn't want to die, but at the same time I did, and even if I did I wouldn't have minded." Raegan answered honestly.

"Oh my god, Rae are you alright? How's your head? Your arms? How are you feeling in general?" Michael asked sounding like a worried mother.

"Relax Mikey I'm fine, I just have a headache, my arms are fine, sore but fine. It's just really my heart that hurts the most." He said looking Michael in the eyes. I looked down guilty.

"Why?" Michael question his voice cracking and honestly I haven't seen Michael look so venerable.

"It was my fault, I said some things that set him off. I take full blame, and Raegan I know it's my fault." I said taking a step forward, while I looked down.

"Wait so it's your fault that he's like this?" Michael asked.

"Yes." I looked down, not knowing what was coming until I felt a hand come to my face. Michael slapped me. I wouldn't, I shouldn't have expected anything more. But that smack knocked me too the floor. I looked up at Michael and then to Raegan. Raegan didn't try to stop him, I deserved this. Michael yelled for Luke and Calum to come. Once they came the took me to the basement and threw me basically down the stairs. I couldn't see so I curled up into a ball and I started sobbing. I deserved this, is what I kept telling myself.

(A/n: I'm so sorry Kale, I feel so bad for making him the bad guy. Forgive me. But has anyone heard Kale's single thoooo, like omg I cry every time I listen to it, it's good!!!!! Ugh I love him so much, I felt really bad... #sorrynotsorry)