Idfc

Chapter seven.

Raegan's pov.

It's been a 2 weeks since the shooting. Things have gotten somewhat better. Danny and Justin are still really depressed and missing Ryan loads. They've both locked themselves in their rooms and are either crying or sleeping. I feel so bad for them. I bring them meals three times a day. They're both still eating which is great. They shower at least once every three days so they're at least decent. Jack and Kale are both happy. They're dating now. A lot happens in a 2 weeks. Michael and the guys are all also on another mission. I'm looking after everyone, including myself.

Right now I'm just sitting in the kitchen waiting for dinner to be done. I'm just cooking some simple rice with vegetables and pork-chops. The rice and vegetables are done I'm just waiting on the pork-chops which will be done any second. As if as I'm on time, the timer goes off, and I take out the pork-chops. I get 5 plates out and dish everyone out some. I dish myself out some but not lots. Once I'm done I get a tray which was what I was using to bring Justin's and Danny's food on. I place Danny and Justin's plates on it along with their utensils. I bring them up some bottles of Pepsi. I make my way up to Justin's and Danny's I knock before going in. Danny's on his phone and Justin's sleeping.

I go over to Danny first, I hand him his plate and he quietly thanks me. He starts eating right away. Even though I fed him some chicken soup today for lunch and waffles for breakfast. He's always hungry that boy. I go over to Justin and shake him awake.

"Justin come on, time to get up, I made supper." I said as I continued to shake him.

"No, go away, I don't wanna eat." He moaned tiredly.

"No come on, Jay you gotta eat." I spoke softly.

"Ugh fine." He said and got up slowly. I handed him his plate and got up to leave. When Justin spoke again.

"Raegan why don't you run off, like no adults are here, so why not run?" Justin asked.

"Well Justin it's not that bad here. Back where I lived people weren't so accepting. But being here, it's made my Dysphoria practically disappear. It's honestly not that bad here, cleaning and cooking is not that bad. Michael could've been way worst, but he's not. I know Kale's warming up to being here, but I like it here. It's nice." I explained to Justin. He smiled at me.

"That's good because I don't want you to go." Justin stated.

"I would never." I answered truthfully. I patted his leg and got up and left. I went up to Jacks door and knocked saying dinner was ready. I walked downstairs with the tray in my hand. I got down and went to the dinning room where I ate alone. I heard Jack and Kale go into the kitchen and get their food and go back to Jacks room. I sighed. I always sit alone now. Michael and the guys left about a week ago. It's been hard. My dysphoria is going away a lot but it's still there. It's there every time I look in a mirror. Every time I go to the bathroom. Every time I shower. Every time I get dressed. It's there. I've tired avoiding looking down but I can't. I have more clothes here now. Michael let me shop online so I can get anything.

I had some nice black jeans. Some great hoodies, sweat pants and I found this transgender store called transient apparel, it's great. I still have my phone and everything but I don't really do anything on it but listen to music when I'm cleaning and cooking. I have some great Galaxy headphones that I bought too. Michael has literally been the brother I never had. I love him. Justin and Danny are sweet. Love them both too. I might or might not like Justin. He's adorable. I literally wish I could call him mine. But I'm scared Ashton will kill me. He probably will.

Kale is so distant now. My dreams coming true. He doesn't talk to me anymore. But he does still help clean. A little. I know he doesn't have to pay attention to me the whole time but it's nice enough when he helps. He still cares. He's just distant. I don't want to lose him. He's the first person who ever actually cared about me. He was my first real friend. I love him and I don't want to become a memory to him. I realized I started crying but I didn't care enough to wipe away the tears. That's until I heard someone coming down the stairs. They made their way to the kitchen and I quickly wipe my tears.

"Oh hey Rae." Kale said casually strolling in. Ignore him. Ignore him. Ignore him.

"Hi Kale." I spoke with my back turned to him.

"Did I do something wrong?" Kale asks with concern.

"No, no it doesn't matter." I told him still not looking at him.

"You sure? It sounds like you've been crying. Have you been crying Rae? You can tell me these things, we're best friends you know." Kale questioned what I didn't want to hear because lately he doesn't seem like a best friend.

"What? I haven't been a best friend? What do you mean? I'm always there for you." Kale asked in betrayal. I guess I spoke out loud, a bad habit that I have.

"You're never around, you're always hanging out with Jack, leaving me lonely all the time. You say your my best friend but if you are, start acting like it." I spoke as like poisonous venom laced with my words.

"You're right, I've been spending way to much time with Jack, I mean he is my boyfriend you know." Kale said.

"Yeah I know, the whole house knows." I stated.

"Oh wow..." Kale blushed and trailed off.

"I'm sorry." Kale spoke getting more serious again.

"It's okay I guess." I told him.

"No no no, Raegan Beast don't try to push this away. I will make this up to you. How about we have a Rae and Kale day." Kale smiled weakly at me.

"Okay sure." I smiled at him.

"YAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!" Kale screamed excitingly, and ran to give me a hug. I hugged him back of course. I love him. He's my best friend. My brother forever.

(A/n: awe by the way anything I saw about this and like how bad Maryland is, it's just for the purpose of the book. So don't be like "Raegan has many great friends" yes yes I know that but for the purpose of the story he only had Kale when he went through the beginning of his transition. Okay? We clear? Okay good. Anyways enjoy this.)