Rogue Txt: A Star Wars Story [#Wattys2017]

Double Triple Quadruple Date...

Quintuple, sextuple, septuple, octuple, nontuple, dectuple, okay no I'm just making up words.

BIG FAT WARNING IN ADVANCE: Please note that I wrote this at 02:00 and my brain was half asleep. There will be some beyond whacky things that I will mention or hint at. So yeah, watch out.

I don't own anything.
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[Agent Kallus has been added to group chat 'Operation Destroy Chirrut/Baze, Jassian, Jynnic, and Pilot²']

Agent Kallus: Sir, how do you plan on destroying all the ships?

Random Phone Number: We make them hate each other until the end of time MWAHAHAHAHA

Agent Kallus: You could be more descriptive

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: Just pretend to understand him. If you pretend hard enough he believes you

Agent Kallus: This is such a weird operation. I mean, who would want to destroy all the ships?

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: Apparently the mastermind behind this?

Agent Kallus: Tell me about it

Random Phone Number: JOE!! Stop infecting Agent Kallus's mind with lies! Ships are bad! They tear apart fandoms and people fight over them! Just look at what has become between the Anidala and Jardala cliques!

Agent Kallus: You spend way too much time on social media. Maybe if you got off a little it wouldn't be so bad. And I don't think Jardala is really a thing

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: If ur so negative about it, why did u join Kallie?

Agent Kallus: 1. Don't call me Kallie
2. The master promised he'd help me achieve Kallizeb

Random Phone Number: I WILL DESTROY THAT SHIP TOO

Agent Kallus: ...

Agent Kallus: That's it. I'm leaving and doing my Fulcrom duties and making Kallizeb happen

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: Bye

Random Phone Number: HOW DARE U BETRAY THE MASTER?!?

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: Really, Saw. Take a chill pill

Saw Gererra: How did you know it was me?? O_O

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: Because you say everything is coming undone?

Saw Gererra: THE SHIPS ARE COMING UNDONE AS THEY SHOULD BE

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: See?

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: Besides, ur kind of a crazy guy. Y ru intent on destroying ships?

Saw Gererra: Well, like every good villain has to be, I used to like what I hate. I was pro-ship at first. See, my sister was dating a guy named Lux Bonteri and I was all gung-ho for that. Then all of a sudden AHSOKA TANO STOLE HIM AWAY FROM MY SISTER!!! She died without his love for her, all because he thought the togruta was hot

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: Annnnddd... lemme guess, u have something against togrutas now?

Saw Gererra: Oh no, some of them are okay. I just have something against Ahsoka

Joe the Grand Inquisitor: That's Ahsokaist

[Saw Gererra has kicked Joe the Grand Inquisitor from the group chat]

Saw Gererra: Let's see what the other gang is up to

[Saw Gererra has joined group chat 'WTREEK IS GOING ON IN HERE? ITS KRENNYS FAULT! PUNCTUATION! CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE THE NAME?!']