Christmas Eve and Angus still hadn't had much luck with Ellen. He wasn't gonna give up, but he wasn't gonna completely forget about Hannah to make her feel better.
Maybe Ellen and Hannah should have made ammends first. Then perhaps she'd listen to him. Instead of them both in a blind rage. It had fizzled out some, but not enough to make a difference.
Phil would suggest the two just start going at it. Release some tension, go to sleep after, feel better the next day. But it wasn't that easy. Not that they'd pick that route if it was. And he wasn't about to ask advice from Phil anyway. Angus realized he needed his brother. He called him some days ago and talked with him a bit. Not just about the situation, about anything.
He talked with Hannah a couple hours before. She didn't sound like her usual self. He didn't want her to feel guilty, but he knew she did anyway. Why did he kiss her? Why?
They weren't together. He wasn't interested in a fling. He couldn't say he wasn't physically attracted to her but the emotional connection meant so much more. It wasn't that he wanted something he couldn't have, or that he was unhappy in his marriage. He just straight out, plain old loved her.
And Ellen knew that didn't she? Of course she did, he's mentioned it countless times. But that gives no excuse to the affection he showed her. It's not like he couldn't help himself, no matter what he said otherwise. He was just sick and tired of hiding it.
Angus began to wish he could turn back time. Hannah already knew how, she did it three times. But Angus wanted to go back when they were teenagers. When they first caught feelings. He'd tell her how he felt sooner, wouldn't have scared her that night, and he knew she would come back so he would have waited for her.
He also began to wonder what would have happened if he'd never met her. Obviously this situation wouldn't have. Or what if he didn't like her or vice versa? He'd probably live his life just the same as he did before.
But what if she never came back? He never would have seen her again. But would he have forgotten about her? Possibly. It seemed as if something told him not to. Someone or something had kept those two together for so long, like they shouldn't forget.
Should have brought her back sooner. If I'd a known... Angus sighed. If I'd a known.
"What seems to be the problem now Angie?" Bon asked smoking. "Hey you got a drink or something? I'm dying."
"Wouldn't they just pass through you?"
"Whiskey passes through everybody mate." Angus had to laugh.
"No, there's not. But there's some water bottles in the fridge."
"That'll have to do." Bon grabbed a bottle. "So. Let's have a chat, yeah?"
"Thanks for stopping by. Been wantin' to talk to you."
"I'm all ears."
"You see, I sort of kissed Hannah on our little date, and then she wouldn't shut up so I did it again, then she was lookin' at me with those big eyes so I did it again."
"I see."
"So then I kissed her the next morning then after we got in an argument, then I promised not to."
"Stupid idea."
"Then we were on a rooftop and she looked at me again, so I kissed her again and again when we left-"
"Christ Angus!"
"I know, and now Ellen knows and she's pissed at both of us."
"Seems to me like this is all your fault."
"Thanks Bon."
"Yep."
"It is my fault. But Hannah feels guilty, and she left so Ellen and I could sort things out." Bon took a drink.
"So what you're saying is, that as soon as you and your wife make nice, she can come back to stay?"
"Yeah, 'bout right."
"Then for God's sake Ang, kiss and make up!"
"It ain't that easy Bon. This isn't a light-hearted situation with a simple fix. This is a marriage problem. I know you got divorced to solve yours but I'm not that kind of man." Bon smiled at him.
"I know." He took another drink. "Boy, if I were Jesus, I'd turn this into something hard."
"So what should I do?"
"I hear Hannah's not gonna come back after this."
"Probably not."
"So when she's gone, you'll have all the time in the world to be with your doting wife."
"Sure."
"So tell her that."
"I can't run off with Hannah then just go back to her when I'm done, Ella deserves better than that."
"Well don't run off with her Ang, just spend time with her. You don't have to kiss her every second, I think she gets the point."
"I spent a whole tour with her. And that's where it started."
"It started, Ang, when she first came to stay with us."
"Yeah..."
"Why don't you just apologize for kissing her? Tell her it was a mistake and that-"
"It was not a mistake!" Angus shouted. "I'm not sorry!" Bon smiled at him.
"You're not sorry?"
"No!"
"Not even a little bit?"
"No." A pause.
"You really do love her?"
"Of course I do."
"Then it seems to me, you don't have a problem." Angus frowned at him. "You want what's best for both of them right? That's about all that matters. You don't love either one more than the other, and you're not lying about your feelings."
"So..."
"So, what is the best situation for both of them?" Angus sat on the couch in thought. Bon had a point.
"Well-the best for Ellen would be to make up with her and treat her as my wife, and the best for Hannah would be-to-"
"Would be?" Angus sighed.
"To let her go and let time pass."
"You've got it."
"I don't want to."
"If you love something set it free." Bon put an arm around him. "Or someone."
"When did you get so deep?"
"Complete death experiences change lives mate. Mine just knocked my head around a few times."
"But I've already let her go. Twice. And she came back twice. Doesn't that old saying say somethin' about that?"
"You're right, you did let her go. Twice," Bon grinned. "You're gonna have to do it a third." Angus looked up at Bon. He was gone.
