Stay

Waiting

Chapter 6: Waiting



I wake up on my floor to the sound of someone knocking at my bedroom door. I check the time and it's 4:00 PM. I quickly get up into my bed.


Tamra peeks her head into my room as I pretend to be 'just waking up.'


Tamra: "Oh thank God, you're alive! We've been worried sick! Did you get any of our calls or messages?"


I check my phone: 20 new messages - 24 missed calls.


"Shit, Tam, I'm so sorry! I didn't sleep well last night and guess I really over slept!"


I conveniently leave out my little trip I took this morning. No one needs to know what happened this morning. I wish I didn't even know what happened this morning.


"Let me get dressed and I'll come with you to the studio."


Tamra: "No, don't bother. I already gave everyone the day off. Just take today to relax and get some rest. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."


"Thanks, Tamra."


Tamra: "Oh, and I brought you some Taco Bell. It's sitting on your counter downstairs."


My stomach began to rumble at the sound of food. I forgot I hadn't eaten at all. I'm starving!


"Yes! Thank you so much, Tam! You always know what I like."


She helps me get down stairs and I sit down at the table and rip open a taco and take a big bite. Yes! It is so damn good!


Tamra makes sure I have everything I need and leaves. After I finish eating, I plop onto the couch satisfying full and pat my, now taco filled, stomach. A smile stretches across my face as I think about the baby that I'm also patting in there. The thought still scares me, but I can't help but to just smile now.


Once I rest on the couch for awhile, I get up and pull out the cleaning supplies. I have a lot to think about and cleaning always seems to help. I began to scrub down the kitchen.


As I wipe down the stove, thoughts are running through my mind. I know at least one decision has been made: I am keeping this baby. Now I just need to figure out how to tell everyone.


Should I tell my sister first? She would understand, she has a kid of her own. She would probably even be excited for me!


But my parents might be mad if I don't tell them first. Or what about Tamra? Or Shannon.... Maybe Mia... Or... John.



Oh my God, John!



My heart drops as I think about him. How did I forget? He has a right to know. As much as I don't want to go to him and tell him, he has a right to know. But what am I supposed to say? 'Hi, John, I know we broke up but I'm carrying your baby so...'



God! He will flip! I can't just throw this responsibility on him! He'll think I just want to get back together with him and I know that's the last thing he will want.


I know, I'll give him an out. Tell him, but then say he doesn't need to be apart of it, that I don't expect him to be a father or be involved at all, just that I thought he had the right to know.


Okay, that's the plan. Now I just need to put it into action. This is going to be hard.


I pick up my phone and stare at John's contact information. If I call, he will know something is up. He's always been able to tell everything from my voice. I'll have to keep it simple. I will just call and ask him out to lunch or see if we can meet, then I will tell him in person.


I reluctantly press 'call.'


It rings then I hear the sound of his voice; that not so long ago, was my favorite thing to hear.


John: "Hello? ...Katy?" He says in a hushed voice, "Is everything alright?"


Of course he'd only think I'd call him if something was wrong. I haven't seen or talked to John in over a month.


"Yeah, everything is great! I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to come to my house for lunch tomorrow? I could order in take-out."


I'm hoping he doesn't noticed the forced, chipper tone in my voice.


John: "Um, ya. Sure. Are you sure everything is okay?"


Dammit, will he stop asking! I know this call is out of the blue, but just go with it!

Before I respond, I force a smile on my face. Fake it 'till you make it, right?


"Yes, everything is fine! So what time works best for you?"


John: "How about... Two o'clock?"


"Perfect! Sounds good! See you then!"


John: "Ya, uh, see you then, I guess."


"Alright, good-bye!"


*I hang up*


I let out a loud groan of frustration and let my upper body flop onto the counter. I am not looking forward to this. I can't even imagine what is going to go through his mind when I tell him this. He's going to hate me. He is going to leave this house and I will never hear from him again.


But you know what, good. I can do this myself, I can raise a child without him, I'm strong enough. I don't need John!


And even as I think this, part of me still feels terrified of telling him...


Now all I have to do is wait.


Wait until tomorrow at 2:00 PM.