Thought of You

Chapter 9

May mga bagay talaga na hinihiling mo, sana hindi mo nalang nalaman. Those things that are better left unsaid rather than knowing it... because If you'll just know it, it will just hurt you.

It's almost 2 o'clock in the morning, and here I am looking at ceiling while tears are keep on falling. Hindi parin talaga napoproseso ng utak ko ang nangyari.

"Faye," he called my name in a serious tone. I looked ay him, he's staring at me "I think I like..." he stopped

Did I hear it right? Is he trying to confess his feelings? Is it for real? Saakin ba? Ito na ba talaga iyon? After one year of having a secret crush on him, finally he noticed me!

"I think I like someone."

"Someone?" Damn. I can't chill. I just hope that's me.

"I like..." he paused for a while "I like Arci, your friend. "

I feel like tons of ice was poured on me. Those ice that woke me up from reality. Did I hear him right? Did I... just hear him say... he likes Arci... my friend?

"W-why?" hindi ko mahanap ang mga salita ko "B-bakit mo sinasabi 'to s-sakin?" kasi Ry sa totoo lang ang sakit!

"You remember what I've told you before? When I told you that I should be the first one you'll call when you need someone. I want you to know na kahit may gusto akong iba I'll still be that guy for you no matter what."

After hearing him say those things I feel like my heart's tearing apart. Hindi ko makuha ang punto niya, pero ang alam ko lang ganon ba kaimportante sakanya yung sinabi niyang iyon? Ganon ba kaimportante sakanya na siya dapat ang una kong tatawagan kapag may kailangan ako? Kasi ang selfish. Ang selfish lang! Paano ko siya tatawagan ngayong umiiyak ako kung siya mismo ang dahilan ng pag-iyak ko?

Dapat kasi hindi na ako umasa pa! Dapat kasi hindi ako nag-isip ng iba! Dapat kasi hindi ko na hinyaang mapalapit ako sakanya! Dapat hindi ko hinayang maging masaya ako... Anong napala ko? Heto, nasasaktan, umiiyak.

Akala ko ako na, iba parin pala.

"Hey, Faye, okay ka lang?" nakasalubong ko si Jersey habang papunta ako sa cr "You look like a zombie. Nakatulog ka ba ng maayos?" she asked then she looked at me.

Umiwas ako kasi baka makita niya ang namumugto kong mata "Wait. Did you..." oh shoot "Cry?"

"No." I said coldly

"Oh come on. Di ako tanga, Faye. Minsan lang kitang makitang ganyan ang mata mo. Minsan ka lang umiyak. So please tell me, what is it?" why does this girl know me so much?

I just stayed silent. Kapag naaalala ko lang kasi ang nangyari nasasaktan lang ako.

"Is it about him?" I froze "The first and last time I saw you cried was when your Kuya got into an accident, last year. Kahit gaanon mo kagusto si Ry never mo siyang iniyakan. Cause again, I know you, you don't waste your time crying sa mga maliliit na bagay, lalo na kapag sa mga lalaki."

"Now, tell me, what's the problem?"

Siguro kailangan ko ring ilabas 'to kaysa tinatago. Kaibigan ko naman si Jersey. 'Tsaka makulit 'tong babaeng ito, hindi rin lang niya ako titigilan hangga't hindi ko nakukwento sakanya.

"Si Ry..." pag uumpisa ako at saka kwinento ko na sakanya lahat. Lahat lahat ng pinag-usapan namin ni Ry kahapon.

Ang tanga ko naman kasi! Umasa agad ako. Umasa agad ako sa mga weird actions niya without hearing any single word from him na dapat panghawakan ko. Umasa lang ako sa lahat ng actions niya. Tumingin lang ako sa isang side at kinalimutan ko ng may isa pa dapat akong side na dapat mapansin. I didn't look on the other side, the side of his words! Damn!

"Oh my god." yan lang nasabi ni Jersey sa gulat niya.

Pati siya hindi niya akalain iyon. All this time akala ko ako na. All this time akala nila kami. All this time akala lang pala lahat... Kasi all this time si Arci pala talaga. Sa kaibigan ko pa!

Maybe sobra lang akong nag assume. At nakalimutan kong he'sgood at that. Making a girl fall for him with no sweat and worst without being aware of it.

"So what's your plan?" Jersey asked pagkalabas namin ng cr dahil hindi ko nakontrol ang sarili ko napaiyak ako.

"Itatago ko. Ganon naman ang dati kong ginagawa e."

"Are you sure okay ka lang?" she looked at me "I'm worried, Faye."

"Yes, okay lang ako. Wala naman akong choice kundi maging okay." ngumiti ako to assure her and at same time to hide the pain.

I don't know why am I hurting. Kung bakit parang sobrang sakit nito. Kung iisipin naman crush ko lang siya. All I know is that I feel like someone dumped me kahit wala naman akong niligawan.

I'm not yet ready to see him. Kung pwede lang mag absent ako ngayon ginawa ko na. Pero di pwede. Kailangan habang maaga pa matutunan ko nang harapin siya.

"Faye," biglang hinawakan ni Jersey yung kamay ko.

"I'm fine."

Kakapasok lang namin sa room at ang bumungad saakin ay napakagandang view.

I saw Ry and Arci laughing together...

Umpisa palang ito, Faye. You have to be strong! What more kung mas tumagal pa? Mas masakit na. Kaya dapat habang maaga you have to endure the pain.