•Hold onto Me•

4

Amy flags me down, great now I have to sit there. I sit down next to her, at the circle table that sits 8. James sits directly in front of me Amy to my left and Gabe to my right. I turn to look at the guy I don't know. He wasn't as tall as Gabe and James but he had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He notices me just staring at him, embarrassingly I say, "I'm Paige, the new girl.." his eyes went wide, " HOLY SHIT DUDE THIS IS THE GIRL THAT SERVED YOU IN THE HALLWAY!!!" Gabe and him both laugh obnoxiously James looks at them with a stern face, they stop abruptly, "Man take it easy we're just joking around, we know you have problems talking to girls." Everyone at the table broke out into laughs.

Two more people showed up, they looked like a couple. They walked up to the table laughing into one another.They went together perfectly, she was a tall thin blonde, he was about her height, a little taller, he was insanely built though. I mean seriously what do they put in the boys food here? "Hey! I'm Melissa, but my friends call me Mel! How has your day been so far? I wont torture you by asking about what happened with you and James." I sighed and roll my eyes with a smile, she laughs a little a proceeds to say, "But can I just say or preach about how I'm so glad someone finally called him out on his shit, other than me obviously." She's looking right at James as she says this smiling so proud to be giving him a hard time. damn I really fucked up his day. James gave Mel a half smile and shook his head. I liked her, she reminded me of my old friends, my real friends back home. The boy standing next to Mel as they went to sit down says to me in a quieter voice than I expected, "I'm Ben, and I thought it was hilarious as well. so I agree with her usually." he was pointing to Mel, she blushed. He seemed very proper, everyone around the table giggled. I wanted to know if they were dating, maybe I should just come out and ask, but then I come to realization that if they want to tell me things they will. I don't want them to think I'm nosy. I was looking at Ben and Mel, if there not dating their body language definitely says they are into each other.

I would say I'm pretty perceptive, I catch things most people wouldn't. I have to be because I need to know if people are starting to figure me out, so I can get the hell out of there. I hate getting close to people, they would never understand, I have to push all those memories to the back of my brain. I need it to stay there, and it needs to stay hidden, most importantly. I need it to stay hidden because I know if one person finds out this whole school will find out. I can't handle that. Not now not ever, I will continue to run. I will run for my life, no matter what the cost. Thinking about this makes my heart race and my breathing becomes heavier.. James looks at me subtly, but I can tell he's noticing what's happening. Someone else is very observant great. I went from laughing with everyone at the lunch table aside form James, to having a face that looks like she had just seen a ghost, from horrible flashbacks flooding my mind.

'breathe breathe breathe' I can't think straight its happening again, I'm having a panic attack, here, right now. I kick back my chair and leave without a word, great now everyone is going to think I'm some sort of freak and that is so rude. I kept my breathing under control until I walked out of the cafeteria doors, outside. I broke I was crying, shaking, and wasn't able to catch my breath. It was just gasp after gasp. I thought i was going to pass out. This is the first panic attack I've had without my brother, he would hold me as I cried and say you're safe. He would then for days blame himself for each one. The door slams behind me I jump at the sound, I can see the flashes of the memories before my eyes I can't even see where I am anymore. "This isn't real, this isn't happening breathe Paige, damn it breathe!" I'm starting to sweat I'm yelling at myself out loud trying to calm myself down. I want to hide somewhere, anywhere. Someone grabs my arm. Its Gabe.