•Hold onto Me•

5

"PLEASE STOP PLEASE STOP I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME," My body went limp. I lye on the ground looking at my surroundings there is nothing. I'm on wood floors and its just empty, completely empty bedroom. The door was open I tried to move towards it with everyone fiber in my body, but  didn't even budge, everything had given up on me. Everything and everyone. Then I flipped I was facing the ceiling, I was facing him. I saw his eyes murderous. Then I heard something in the background..

Muffled yelling

"PAIGE YOU'RE OKAY!!! SNAP OUT OF IT! WHATS GOING ON????" I hear Gabe yelling at me in the distance. I see those terrifying eyes still flashing in my way of finding Gabe. I push the flashbacks further down, I cant feel this not here not now. I finally swallow hard, as if that's where all my problems were going. I just finished chewing them and I swallowed it, its over for now, until I throw it up again another day.

Finally, I start counting my breaths and calming down, thank God it was just me and Gabe outside. He's the only one who saw its going to be okay it's just one person. I can handle this. no I cant. LIE LIE LIE! Gabe sees my eyes meet his green one he pulls me in, "Geez you scared the hell out of me. Don't explain unless you want to. No one saw, you're safe, its okay." His embrace felt safe, I didn't want him to let go, but I pushed him off, gosh I hate myself, "I'm fine! If I needed someone I would've asked someone to come with me. Listen Gabe I barely know you, but you cant tell anyone about this I-I.. don't want to freak anyone out." my words were flying from my mouth faster than I could even think. He looked slightly hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him but I didn't know what else to do, I need to learn how to be alone and they needed to be safe. "I understand you just looked like you were going to pass out I wanted to make sure you were okay, if something happened to you your first week we'd all be devastated. Paige I'm not freaked out people have panic attacks all the time! its no big deal, really!" He tried to be as reassurring as possible. I couldn't listen anymore I nodded my head and walked to the bathroom I had to get fixed up.

The rest of the day went by fairly quick I just laid low even though James was in 3 out of my four classes. Lucky for me Gabe was in all of them. Ben and Ethan werent in any which I was sort of bummed about. Amy was in my last two blocks and Mel was in one which is my third block with Amy.

Finally it was Friday! So James still barely paid me any attention, which I didn't mind. Gabe was so cool! Along with the other guys, Ben and Ethan.

Anatomy was a nightmare with Mr. Banks I swear everything is group work with him! James just does all his work and I do mine, there's not much talking there. Which once again doesn't bother me, but it's just I do enough work alone that I shouldn't be given the amount of work it takes two individuals to finish. I'm turning into a stress machine.

So, of course I talk to Amy in my next third block right before lunch about how stressed out I am one week into my first week of school. She looks at me, " YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?!?!?" She was so loud and enthused. I was scared to hear her answer.. " YOU NEED!!!! Your beautiful burnt brown hair and nails done because we're going to go to a party!" I guess I could be cool with that, a chance to go out and keep cool, plus it's a Friday night, but I really need to study for Calculus or by God I swear I'll fail! I look at Amy dying to say yes but, "No I have calculus homework and I have no idea what I'm doing right now... Plus on top of everything I don't think partying is really my scene.." It used to be, I loved going to big parties with a bunch of people and meeting all those people that night, it was a thrill. So I sighed and shook my head slightly, this is my life it's time to change and just blend in and a party isn't blending in, especially if I have alcohol.

So we walked to lunch and Amy slammed her bag onto the table, drawing attention. She winked at everyone.. I picked up on it though she was frustrated because she thought no one was going to the party tonight. EVERYONE said they were going even James nodded his head. Then Amy turns to me, "SEE! you're the only one not going!" She said this fairly loud, then everyone else jumped in bombarding me with questions as to why I'm not going. I had finally had enough, "FINE I'll go! Just calm down and don't get your panties in a wad." Crap that sounded southern. 'Damn it Paige you live in Washington now.. get it together' Mel looked at me, "panties in a wad? What movie did you hear that from?" She burst out laughing everyone joins in except of course James who is studying me.