•Hold onto Me•

21

As the tears finally slowed down I could barely see. I never made it to class and I knew James would have a momentary freak out. Mel stayed with me while I was sitting on the bathroom sink working on my breathing.

I decided it might just be best to go home. I obviously need a break and I wasn't getting any better here.

I sniffled as Mel stood there just being company not saying anything. Even if she did I probably wouldn't have been able to hear her. I stopped throwing up and coughing now it was just tears one after another that I couldn't put a plug in. I couldn't find the leak.

"Thanks for being here, I'm sorry I'm so annoying." I started to let myself feel like stone. Like I'm distant. Harder to try and not feel so much of this pain.

"It's okay, if it wasn't for me who would've locked the bathroom doors?" We both laughed a little, "Really Paige it's no big deal, your my friend. Also, you're not annoying. I don't know what's going on, but I understand life can be hard sometimes and you need a friend when it crashes a little too hard."

She pulls me off the sink and into a hug, I feel better. I never thought to actually just let people see me broke. I always tried to cover it up, but maybe Mel is right you just need a friend sometimes. Like when Everyone was there for James and he just let them be there. He let them be good friends. I wish I could be more like that but I'm a pusher. I push people away when they try to get to close. I guess that's what happens when you get betrayed by your own brother, you grow to have trust issues.

"Thank you Mel again, but I need to get out of here. I can't do school today it's a little much. I'm just gonna walk home and I'll see you guys tomorrow." I kinda brush her off and walk towards the door with my head down. I don't want anyone to see what my face looks like right now.

I switched the lock and flew the door open my eyes adjusted as practically fell into the person leaning against the wall right outside the bathrooms. I slammed right into James. I locked eyes with him then my eyes started to well up and he put his arm around my neck and pulled me in close and started to walk. Like he was protecting my from paparazzi. I couldn't have been more thankful in my life.

As we walked past a group of girls I heard the snarky comment from the bitch of a person, "I didn't know I'd make you cry that hard." She threw her head back and laughed. Blair.

I couldn't help myself I walked up to her and gave her a hard shove, "Say it louder bitch." Everyone in the hall turned to face us almost like a circle. People gasped when they heard Blair hit the lockers.

Then my body was swept away by James who through me over his shoulder and carried me to his truck. He picked me up like I was nothing. I felt to powerless, I wasn't even in control of my own body anymore.

"PUT ME DOWN! JAMES I SWEAR PUT ME DOWN NOW!!!!" I was hitting him hard in the back. It wasn't remotely close to working. He's a brick wall compared to me. Then I started crying still hitting his back. I was going insane I couldn't keep my shit together. My breathing picked up and James plopped me into the front seat of the truck and ran to the drivers seat. He got in and started the engine and we drove.

I kept my hands over my face with my knees to my chest, and attempted to control my breathing. I had no idea where we were driving to, but I felt the jerks of the car and knew it was somewhere far. I became so emotionally exhausted I let myself fall into James lap and just sleep.

I woke up and the car was parked. I looked up at James who was staring at me with eyes at ease. He looked so gentle and kind, I wanted to see that face for the rest of my life.