Misfit (Phan AU)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

warnings: general spookiness to the max!! im channeling my inner goosebumps fanatic and writing horror at a child's reading level

*Phil's POV*

Waking up next to Dan was wonderful, it was one of those things you stumbled across unexpectedly, not knowing how much it would change your life after the first time it happened. I mean, really, how was I meant to ever enjoy sleeping on my own now that I knew what it was like to sleep next to him? To feel his heartbeat under my palm, to share our warmth, to hear his sleepy appreciative giggles in lieu of conversation when he was too tired to form words. It was magical. He was magical.

Of course, with everything so painstakingly rare and valuable, it came with a price.

Worth it or not, I'd be lying if I tried to say there wasn't a single downside to sleeping in the same bed as him. It meant waking up with a face full of hair, limbs strewn messily over your body and making it difficult to move away. Then there was the hassle of shaking away sleep only to be greeted by the bitter winter cold after having all your blankets ruthlessly stolen during the night. But the worst, by far, was the feeling of dreadful guilt that settled in the pit of your stomach after realizing you'd made the mistake of waking Dan Howell before he was ready to be conscious.

That was the case this morning, when the alarm on my phone roared to life and started to blare an upbeat song that I probably would have enjoyed at any other time in the day. As it was, it took all of my will-power not to grab the damn device and chuck it across the room to shut it up. Not that I could have even if I'd decided to give in to the temptation, as Dan had wrapped himself so tightly around me that I had no hope in breaking free without his cooperation. And, judging by the muffled complaints being muttered into the dip of my collarbone, I didn't expect him to be too apt to cooperate.

It went on like that for nearly a minute before he let out a particularly harsh whine and rolled over to bury his head under the pillows, trying to block out the noise. I laughed under my breath, despite my own irritation with the situation, and reached over him to where I'd left my phone. I managed to turn off the alarm, though the bold reminder printed across the screen made it difficult to really ignore the message behind the noise.

I had work today. As much as I wanted to pretend that wasn't a reality and simply crawl back into bed, the more I thought about it the more I realized I couldn't do that today. It'd gotten to the point that simply saying I didn't feel like going wasn't an acceptable excuse, despite working for myself. I'd fallen back on that out so many times, I really couldn't afford to keep using it.

So, though it pained me to do so, I abandoned all hopes of recovering the blankets from Dan's side of the bed and hauled myself to my feet. I expected to hear some form of protest from the lump taking up half the mattress, but apparently he'd already fallen back asleep. That was probably for the best, I doubted he would be in the most cheerful of moods right about now.

It wasn't really intentional that we'd stayed up so late the night before, but how was I meant to say no to Dan begging me to marathon my all-time favorite show with him? Besides, at the time it hadn't really seemed like such a bad idea, after our lengthy midday nap together. The thought of how horribly we were damaging our sleeping schedule by staying up until the early hours of the morning hardly crossed my mind.

Though, to be fair, not much of anything at all had crossed my mind. I'd been wrapped up in a pleasant haze, despite being constantly consumed by thoughts of what had happened between us earlier and what it meant for our relationship. We hadn't talked about it since, I was starting to wonder if Dan even wanted to talk about it. Was there some unspoken label we'd settled on the moment our lips had touched? Had he fallen asleep afterward and then simply figured he'd dreamed the exchange after waking up?