Misfit (Phan AU)

Chapter Twenty-One

(WATTYS VOTING STARTED TODAY, GO TO MY TWITTER OR THE A/N AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER TO FIGURE OUT MORE, ILY. Also, I feel I should give u a lil heads up bc this chapter mentions character death kinda, if u feel thats something thatll rlly bother u read further for assurance lil peaches: After the bolded -- this chapter is a dream, at first at least, there are italics when he wakes up. Don't panic, no one is really dead, u will be ok)

*Dan's POV*

I hadn't meant to fall asleep, I hadn't even meant to close my eyes. It all just happened so quickly, one second I was there leaning back against the edge of Phil's bed and pretending not to notice the way he was definitely staring at me, and then the next my eyelids weighed me down like anchors and it was no longer an option whether I wanted to keep them open or not.

It's not like I completely conked out and was dead to the rest of the world immediately, even after staying up the entire night prior stressing, I wasn't one to pass out in such an all-or-nothing way. No, instead I was sat there drifting in and out of reality, breaking out of the groggy daze just enough to register something small like the way Phil was sighing softly under his breath or how his knee would brush up against mine when he wasn't paying enough attention to sitting still.

The interruptions were far from enough to properly grab hold of my interest and make my subconscious abandon its quest for slumber entirely, but it was enough to keep me from slipping away entirely. I fought against it every time blackness started to engulf my thoughts the way it had my vision. Even as my sleep-riddled mind started to distort things and I couldn't remember what it was exactly keeping me awake, I continued to fight. I figured my reasoning must have been pretty decent in the first place or I never would have bothered even trying not to rest when I felt so exhausted, mentally and physically.

And then, as soon I was at the borderline of reaching my strength's limits and giving up, I was hit with a blunt reminder. I hadn't even realized I was shivering until suddenly I was wrapped up in a bundle of warmth and practically purred in relief. I stirred slightly, dazedly fumbling to pull the phantom blanket closer, wondering where it'd come from when moments before I'd been sat on the cold floor-

Floor. Phil's floor.

How didn't I realize that before now?! What else would be worth forcing myself to stay awake for? What was the reason I was so tired in the first place? Phil Lester, that's 'what'.

Now that the realization had pierced through the muddled dome that'd been capped over my thoughts, there was no going back into it. I was entirely awake now, completely aware of my surroundings even if I hadn't physically shown a reaction to the change yet. I would have, any other time waking up I'd be groaning and complaining about it by now, but instead I was sat motionless as I registered for the first time the way I could feel Phil's warm breath washing over the side of my neck, the way each time my skin would prickle in response as each tiny hair stood on end.

"Actually reply to my texts while I'm gone, alright?" He chuckled, the proximity of his voice only confirming my suspicion. It took me a minute to conjure up reasons for him to be so close, but I settled on assuming he'd had to lean over me to grab the blanket and just hadn't thought to back off afterward. After all, sleeping people are unaware of their personal space being breached, it's not like I could have protested.

Though, even as I thought that, there was a niggling voice in the back of my mind reminding me in a singsong teasing manner that I likely wouldn't have protested either way, that these past few days I hadn't been all that quick to push him away when he got too close. That covered all forms of 'too-close' as well, whether it be when he started to daze out watching a movie and his head ended up somehow sunk down onto my shoulder, or when he veered our 3am conversations off on a route I formerly never would have allowed, cautiously asking about my family and why I'd moved out so young.