Misfit (Phan AU)

Chapter Twenty-Three

*Phil's POV*

My hands clutched my stomach desperately, trying in vain to catch my breath as I doubled over fully, all the while eyeing Dan where he stood rooted to the spot behind the kitchen island. I was surprised he hadn't pursued me further, chased me through every room in the apartment until he'd succeeded in smearing the disgusting mess in his hands all over me. I'd never seen so much determination in him as I had when his lips curved upward into that wolfish grin when he first thought up the idea of that fitting pun I'd unintentionally given him the stage to make, it was unbelievably intimidating.

And while I wanted to be angry, upset with him for even toying with the idea of touching me with that heap of cold gore, I didn't find even a trace of genuine unsettle between us. If anything, the way my hands were pressed so deeply into my sides, was more to hold back the dam of laughter threatening to break than to help me catch my breath. I'm not so unfit that a few laps around the small kitchen would do me in, but I'm hoping he'll fall for it and believe me to be solely so he doesn't see how over-the-moon giddy I really am.

It would scare him off, surely, the way I've been warding away the maniacal grin that's been twitching at my lips since I walked back into the apartment and saw him enter the dark kitchen, nothing more than a blurry silhouette in the limited streaks of moonlight illuminating the room. For a second I'd even let it get the better of me, grinning ridiculously as an overwhelming wave of relief circled through me, so powerful it nearly prompted me to drop the bags I was holding altogether and surge forward to greet him properly, my plans of surprising him properly be damned.

It was odd, the way my chest had felt heavy the entire drive with nerves, with an undying fear that he wouldn't even like the idea I'd worked so hard to turn into a reality over the course of the past twelve hours. I wasn't sure when I'd started to allow his opinions to mean so very much to me, especially considering every one he'd offered me in the beginning had been negative, you'd think I would try to distance myself from the matter at least somewhat, so I wouldn't be crushed if he didn't react how I was hoping.

Apparently that wasn't the case though, because I'd shakily let myself into the apartment with the weight of the bags on my arms pulling me toward the floor and the weight of worlds on my chest pulling me forward with an urge to hurriedly locate my roommate and embrace our reunion fully. My heart was between my teeth and had he shot the entire plan down, I probably would have snapped my jaw shut in rejection and let it shatter like glass.

Odder yet, was the fact I hadn't even wanted to shy away in fear of things going wrong, even with the knowledge of just what that'd entail and how it'd hurt me. Not even when he hesitated in the darkness and gave no visual reaction to my presence, a certain sign that he wasn't as happy to see me as I'd hoped him to be. No, as I said before, I'd even started to smile ludicrously. I was so happy to see him, it didn't even matter if the feeling was mutual or not, because being near him again was more than relief enough to mellow out the anxiety that had started to riddle my mind.

I've been this way ever since, a constant state of cloud nine level contentment, pure adrenaline and giddy thrill pushing me on even as my lack of sleep the night before started to catch up to me. Aside from the frequent yawns, and the dark bags surely making an appearance under my eyes by now, there was no outward reaction to my lack of rest recently. I was simply too excited to be tired, I wouldn't allow it. I didn't want to miss even a second of tonight.

I gulped, eyeing him through my fringe warily, making sure he had no lingering intentions to advance after me. He was still watching me with that stupidly smug grin splayed across his lips, but otherwise he seemed relatively harmless and free of bad intent. I glared at him harshly now that I was comfortable with the idea that he'd backed down, some witty remark on the tip of my tongue as I struggled to come up with the perfect way to phrase my annoyance with the man.