"Y/n are you listening to me."
I sat in the same old office as I had everyday. I stared at the same old clock. Sat in the same old chair.
"Y/n" my therapist repeated.
I snapped out of my daze, and looked at her with empty eyes.
"Y/n how are you feeling today"
"Like you would care" I rolled my eyes, the question always seemed to pop up.
"I do care, I'm your therapist"
"You don't wanna know how I feel, when you tell me to express my feelings, you don't mean my actual feelings you mean the feelings you want me to have-"
"That's not true"
"Because you can't deal with dark or scary or weird, you want me to say "yeah I'm fine everything's great" so you can move on with your boring life and never think about me again" my voice raised.
"Y/n I want to help you, you know I do"
"Bullshit"
"I'm trying to help you" he patience ran out.
"That's crap and you know it, you can't help me. I'm broken, you can't fix broken things. The only thing in my life that held me together is gone. My only happiness is gone."
Tears fell down my face.
"The only thing that could fix me, the only one I could help me is Taylor. Not a day goes by that I feel useless. Not a day goes by that I sit in my room think what my life would be like if Taylor hadn't died. Not a day goes by that I'm scared my dad will come home and do something horrible because Taylor isn't there to help me."
The therapist looked up at me completely shocked, everyday I would walk in there and tell her I was fine. She thought I was getting better.
I sighed and gathered my things. "You know you can only help someone who wants to be helped"
I walked out of that room and never came back. I never sat in that room again. I never looked at that clock, never sat in the chair again.
I never sat anywhere anymore. I got home that day and I cried. My room was a mess things thrown all over the place. I when home and stared at the memories me a Taylor shared.
Then it hit me. Never would I be truly happy if I wasn't with Taylor. The only way to fix me is to be with Taylor.
I took the pills and the blade so I could hide my pain. My vision was blurry, my leafs were weak. I fell to the floor.
White surrounded me and I smiled, this is where I wanted to be. Then Taylor appeared.
"Taylor" I screamed.
"Hey baby" he smiled.
All my happiness was finally back
