Matthew's POV
I still remember her laugh.
It cascades around me as the memories of me and her dance in my head.
She was like my Peter Pan my lost girl and now that she's gone I feel like I'm growing old.
I miss counting her fingers while she drifted off to sleep. I miss brushing my fingers through her hair while she would read her favorite book.
I miss slowly swaying her back and forth while she hummed to the music. I miss the 3am cooking in oversized shirts with her.
I miss everything about her.
Everything is a haze. All the days are blurred together. Nothing makes sense anymore.
I hear voices in my head. I hear her voice.
I lightly humm her favourite song gently hugging her favorite sweatshirt.
I was a lost boy. I was ready to be found by her. To be loved by her.
"I'm sorry y/n, I failed you" I screamed out.
This was all my fault. If I was just there for her. If I just held her long enough. If I just told her it was going to be okay she would still be here.
Everyone says I'm going insane. Maybe there right. Maybe she kept me sane.
I remember the day we had our first fight.
I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanna be with her again. She cried and cried bc she thought she was going to lose me. She begged me to stay. And oh now how the tables have turned because now I'm laying here in tears because I've lost her.
If anyone cares enough to read this, I'm sorry. I need to be with y/n. I need to hold her. I need to pull her close into my chest and whisper "I love you" into her ear. I need to become lost again with her. To make time completely stop and stay young forever. I want to see her eyes light up when she smiles. She was like a mosaic,with every crack and scar, I fell deeper in lin love with her. If any of you know me you know I don't fall for looks. But I did with her. I fell for her big eyes and laughing smile and rosy cheeks. Her little nose and her h/c hair that made her face glow. I also fell for her voice and the way she said "I love you". I missed when she would curse under her breath when she messed up a chord on the guitar. I miss the way she danced in the kitchen like no one was watching. I didn't only fall for her looks but also her. You always told me to be happy and that what I'm doing I'm finding my happiness.
I fall to the floor and see a smiling y/n standing there and I know I'm finally home.
