John

Please...stop.

* italics and underlined is characters speaking telepathically * *Bold Is characters thoughts*. *and regular text is monologue or actions* *pic is not mine* •James Brown• *

*dream*

"Stop." The boy said his voice ragged.
"Please stop." He begged as he felt the sharp pain in his side from another dreaded kick.
"Father! Please! Stop!" He screamed tears spilling out of his bright sapphire blue eyes.
'Kick'
"Help!" The boy screamed at the top of his lungs.
'Kick'
He knew his attempts were useless; still he had to try.
'Kick'
"Please. Stop." The boy wheezed, gasping for air, he looked up at the man who was towering over him with a cruel smirk.
"Shut up boy!" The man demanded, delivering another kick to the boys side.
Blood.
The tangy, bitter, and metallic taste of blood filled the boys mouth causing him to gag.
"Please." He whispered coughing up blood onto the floor.
'Kick'
A loud snap echoed throughout the dark room.
"I hate you!" The boy screamed in agony trying desperately to get away from the man who just broke one or more of his ribs.
"Where do you think you're going boy! You can never get away from me! I'll always find you John!" The man screamed at the broken and terrified boy on the ground in front of him.
'Kick'
Another kick. And another. Over and over again.
The boy was now crying and screaming in agony. He wanted it all to stop.
Stop.
Stop please!
"John!"
Stop! Stop it hurts!
"John! Wake up! You're dreaming!"
'Kick'
'Snap'
"John! You're safe! No one is going to hurt you!"
I've heard those words before.
Lies!
"John!"
"Please wake up!"
Wake up?
'Kick'
"John!"
"John wake up!" Rosi shouted shaking her brother in an attempt to wake him.
"No! Please stop! Stop!" John screamed sitting up quickly, tears streaming down his face, and his breathing heavy. Rosi grabbed him into a tight hug and let him cry. He was oblivious to his shocked team members watching from the door, although at the moment he didn't care.
It felt so real.
The pain.

"John?" A familiar voice asked causing him to look up from his twin's arms.
Masako.
"I'm sorry." John mumbled trying to wipe the tears off his face.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Masako whispered pulling him into a hug.
"I'm fine."
"John." Rosi said softly.
"Can I please just I just want to be alone." John choked out.
"Ok we will go." Rosi said as everyone turned to leave except for Ayako.

"John?" Ayako asked walking over to John's side slowly.
"John? Are you ok?" Ayako asked putting her hand on his back which caused him to flinch, and she started rubbing small soothing circles.
"Ye... no I'm not. I'm sorry." John answered truthfully.
"You have nothing to be sorry for and you know that. Do you want to talk about it?" Ayako asked gently.
"No." He whispered.
"Alright. That's ok." She said sitting down beside John.
"Ayako please. Just go." John pleaded. He just wanted to be left alone.
"No. I'm not leaving you. I'm sorry." Ayako said softly.
"Please."
"You are not going to go through this alone. I won't let you." She said sympathetically.

"Thank you." John whispered.
"That's what friends are for."

10 minutes of silence later
Ayako POV

"I've been having these nightmares for a really long time, it's no big deal. They actually went away for a little while. That dream I had it felt real." John stated.
"What happens in the dreams John?"
"Ayako. Yesterday we went to the park. That's the reason they started again." John said hesitantly.
"The park?"
"I saw someone at the park." John replied.
"Who did you see?" I asked pushing for more of an answer.
"My father. I saw my father." John choked out.
His father?
"John? I don't understand."
"Um...when" John started taking a deep breath to calm his nerves.
He's scared to tell me.
"When I was seven...My mother and my sister went out of the country for the week to see my Nana in France. My brother was staying with some of his friends at their house, and I was staying at home with my father. He...um he got drunk. He started hitting me, at first it was just a slap in the face or a shove but it got worse." John mumbled looking at his hands in his lap.
"John. I'm sorry." I said softly.
"I never knew what I did wrong. It just kept getting worse and then Joey came home. He tried to protect me. It just got worse over the years. I've been put in a coma for half a month because of my father. My brother blamed himself. He took a lot of the hits that were meant for me, I wish he hadn't. My brother killed himself because of that bastard! If my brother didn't protect me, he'd still be here. My father came back after two months of being gone when I was fifteen. My brother told me to go get Sebby. I left my brother. The last time I saw my brother alive he was walking into that God forsaken house!" John emotionally recalled his hair hanging over his face.
I would have never known.
"John."
"It should have been me!" John cried
"I should have took all those hits. I should not be here. My brother should be here. I should have went with him, but I didn't. I did what he told me to do! I always did. If I hadn't of listened to him, he wouldn't be dead. He told me not to tell anyone what our father did. And I didn't!"
His brother told him not to tell anyone?
"I'm the one that found my brother. I tried to save him. I did everything I could do and it didn't make a difference! It was my fault. It is my fault. A week after his funeral, I...I tried to kill myself." He continued.
He tried to commit suicide? How much do we not know about him?
"I'm worthless. I even failed at killing myself. Nobody sees how much I fucking hate myself." John continued his voice raising an octave higher. He had tears streaming down his face.
John.
"I just wanted everything to end. It's his fault that my brother took his own life and I didn't do anything to prevent it from happening!"
"John there was nothing that could have prevented it." I said trying to calm him down.
"Everyone thinks I've gotten better. That I'm no longer depressed or self conscious. Truth be told I've just gotten better at hiding it." He whispered.
"When I went to Japan, I was scared people would see how much I hated myself. When I met the team, I actually tried keeping my distance. It didn't work and I'm glad it didn't." John admitted a small smile forming on his lips.
"I'm still alive because of my mom and sisters and my grandparents,aunts,uncles, and cousins." He stated.
"But they weren't with me in Japan.
You and the team and father Toujo and the members of the church were. And I'm thankful for that." John continued.
"It's not your fault. It's your father's fault John. I'm extremely happy that you are still with us, the whole team is. And we are thankful for you, John. You are like family to me." I admitted.
"Thank you for staying and listening to me."
"John? What did your father do in your dream?" I asked scared of the answer I would receive.
"He was kicking me over and over again and I couldn't get away. It felt so real." John whispered.
"John. You should tell the others. They are worried about you too. I have a feeling Mai and Masako already know. Right?"
"Yes they do know and you're right I should I just don't know how." John admitted looking up at me for the first time since he started telling me about his past. He looks terrified and broken.
"I'll help you. You don't have to tell them right now. Ok?"
"Thank you Ayako." John whispered.
"When did you see him at the park yesterday?"
"He was watching me push Sarah on the swings. That bastard even smiled and waved at me!" John exclaimed.
"Did you tell anyone? That you saw him?"I asked.
"No." He mumbled.
"Why not?" I inquired.
"I didn't want them to worry. And my Nana is his mother she would never see a problem with him being there. She didn't believe that he was abusive or a drunk." He explained.
"John. I'm sorry."
"I just feel so pathetic." John mumbled.
"Why did you never stand up for yourself John?"
"It's kind of hard to stand up for yourself after being beaten into submission and complacency your whole life. It's a whole lot harder than it sounds." John explained.
"And after awhile you just get used to it. The difference between me and most people is when other people wake up their nightmares end. I'm haunted by someone who's still alive. That's kinda weird right?" John asked with a sad laugh.
"I guess I should go tell the others and get this over with." John sighed standing up.
"You sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure." He said with a small smile.
"Ok let's go."
"Ayako do I have to tell them everything?" He asked.
"No. Just tell them what you need too."
"I don..." John started to argue.
"And don't even try and argue with me I can see it in your eyes."
"Fine. I'm just scared. That everyone will..."
"Hate you?"
"Yeah" he whispered.
"They will not hate you."
"Ok."

_with the rest of SPR excluding Masako_

"Are you ok John?" Monk asked.
"I'm ok." John mumbled not making eye contact with anyone in the room.
"John. Will you tell us what your nightmare was about." Lin asked.
"John." Rosi started to say.
"Please don't." John said interrupting his twin.
"I will tell you. But please don't um hate me. Please." John begged.
"Why would we hate you?" Monk asked.
"We won't hate you." Mai stated confidently.
"Um o..ok." He stated nervously.
"You can start when your ready." Naru stated.
"Ok um well yesterday at the park I..." John started.
"John." Rosi whispered making eye contact with her twin.
"I saw our father. He was watching me push Sarah on the swings and he smiled and waved." He continued seeming more confident with his twin.
"John? Your father?" Naru asked.
"Yes when I was seven, my mom and sister went to visit Nana in France and my brother was staying with his friends for the week. My father came home drunk." He said glancing at me.
"It's ok." I whispered.
"He beat you, didn't he?" Lin asked softly.
"Yes it wasn't too bad at first but it steadily got worse over the years. My brother always tried to stop him, so he took a lot of hits. He never touched my sister, and he'd be dead if he had." John stated a cold look in his eyes.
"He is the reason my brother Joey killed himself. I couldn't save him." He stated.
"John you don't have to tell us anymore." Lin said placing a hand on John's shoulder.
"Yes. Yes I do."
"Ok take your time." Lin said softly.
"Joey told me not to tell anyone about what our father did to us. So I got a reputation of being clumsy. He made my aunt Shelly and Sebby promise not to tell. I went to them for help. I should have stayed with my brother. After my brother died. I tried committing suicide." John started oblivious to his mother and his cousin Sebby standing at the door.
"I was depressed and angry. My life spiraled out of control." He continued.
"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why did you listen to your brother?" Monk asked.
"I..."
"John. Why?" Lin asked
"Because he said they would take us away from our mum if we told anyone." He whispered causing Ms. Nite to gasp causing the twins to turn towards their mother.
"You never told me that." Ms. Nite whispered.
"I..." John was speechless.
"So that's what he said to keep you quiet." Sebby mumbled.
"Why?" Ms. Nite whispered. John just stood there in shock.
"I couldn't." John whispered.
"You could have." Ms. Nite argued.
"No I couldn't! He said that if we told anyone we'd be taken away and that we'd never see you again! He said that if we told and he found us he'd..." John stopped mid-rant slapping a hand over his mouth.
He finally broke.
"He'd what John?!" Ms. Nite demanded.
"Jo?" Rosi asked.
"He'd do what." Ms. Hana growled.
"Let's just all calm down." Lin said
"Shut up!" Ms. Nite yelled.
"Jonathan Chance Nite! Answer me now." Ms. Nite demanded using John's full name which caused him to turn about ten shades lighter.
"Hana stop it." Mr. Nite said walking into the room.
"He won't talk to me." She growled.
"Maybe. It's because you're yelling at him." Mr. Nite retorted.
"John." Mr. Nite said motioning for him to follow him.
"Mr. Koujo. Mr. Davis. Please come with us as well." He said walking out of the room John following quickly after him.
"Do any of you know?" Ms. Nite asked.
"No. We don't know." I replied.
"Fine." She mumbled walking out of the room.
"Poor John." Mai whispered.
"What do you think his father threatened him with?" Monk asked.
"I don't know." Yasu whispered.
I hope John is ok.

Which is worse?
Emotional pain or physical pain.

* Here is another chapter! This took awhile to write I actually started writing it before I wrote the previous chapter, so last year. I hope you enjoyed! Vote, comment, let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!
      ~Tayterchip✨