candy striper :: l.h.

twenty-two » cancer

;

the hardest part of this

is leaving you.

- cancer ; my chemical romance

fallon.

how is it over there?

Not too bad. They're prepping him rn, just injected him w/ anesthetics.

He'll be knocked out soon

is he alright? am i allowed to call him?

I wouldn't call him just to avoid making him any more anxious. Just know that he's thinking about you - you're his anchor right now. Always have been.

I'll keep you updated, have a safe flight fal.

You didn't fall for a weak man.

I forced myself to power my phone off, at that, reminding myself that the only way to avoid tears and breakage at this point was to just breathe. Cancel everything else out. Breathe. Focus on the radio. On the road. Don't think.

"What do you think, Fal?"

"Hm?" I looked up from my lap towards Adrianne, was sitting across from me in the passenger's seat beside Calum, who was at the wheel.

"We were debating on whether to stop for fries or coffee," she spoke slowly, her eyes crinkling as she observed me. She stared at me hesitantly, almost knowingly. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head at her insistingly and coughed the lump out of my throat. "Nothing, fries sound nice."

"Your eyes are watering, Fallon."

My eyes sized at the realization of wet drops gliding down my cheeks, and I sniffled quickly and quietly as I brought my fingers up to brush them away, swearing to myself beneath the sounds of the radio.

Disappointment was the only word I could think of to describe it - I'd sworn to myself that I'd let all of the tears loose last night, in bed, in solitary confinement. Any more of them making a surprise appearance today, right now, could throw me completely off track.

"I'm good, this song just makes me 'motional," I laughed half-heartedly, sinking deep into the backseat with hopes that no one would be able to find me between the cushions.