hopelessly devoted // e.d.

Chapter 19

As promised, I didn't avoid Ethan. We went on for weeks exchanging minimal small talk. There was tension so thick in the air, that it could suffocate you.

Then we just, I don't know, gave up? I guess we both got so fessed up with the tension that we let go of everything. Every laugh we shared, every cry we shared, that one kiss we shared.

He gravitated back to Julie, the one thing that still made sense to him. They got back together of course and he knew that it caused me to hurt like hell. He would wrap his arms around her like things never changed between them. He would kiss her in front of me as if I was invisible, but that's okay. I kinda fell into the invisible state.

I would only attend my classes. I'd occasionally go out with Laur but half the time I was just third-wheeling because Gray was around. I wish I had a Grayson.

Now I'm here, being the Tumblr teenager I am, lying on bed thinking about the recent events of my life and how it all went to shit because of one screw up.

ring ring ring

I look to my side where my overheating laptop is laying. There's an incoming call from Gray on Skype. I lay a pillow onto my lap as I sit up and place my laptop on it before I answer the call.

"Hey," I say monotonously. Both Grayson and Lauren are visible on my screen. Her head is rested on his chest as the two seem to be reclined on the couch in Grayson's living room.

"Hey Sky."

"What's up?" I ask using the little effort I had to conjure a statement.

"Nothing much over here. We just had dinner. What's been up with you? I see you in class and then you just disappear afterwards. Other than when I pick up Lauren at practice, but you still don't talk to us after. We're worried about you," Grayson says.

I shrug and respond,"Yeah sorry about that. I've just had a lot on my mind the past couple weeks."

"Is this about Ethan? After that day the both of you started acting weird. And then Ethan got back with her and you went MIA on us," Lauren said with a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, a bit, a lot. Yeah," I say giving in.

"What happened? E was weird too. He went to his room all red and angry and stuff. Looked angry at himself actually," Gray said.

"Well," I take a deep breath, "after you guys left that day, he kissed me. I'm not gonna go in depth but let's just say it was more like making out. Then I told him how I felt and--and he didn't feel the same way. And that was that."

I looked up at the ceiling swallowing the lump in my throat. All my fault.

Lauren and Grayson looked at me with sympathetic looks. They were empathizing me since they didn't know how it felt to be rejected. Well they're two beautiful people, how could they even get rejected.

"Sky, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think he's into Julie anymore. He doesn't look at her the same way anymore. He looks at you with this longing expression. I think you two need to talk to each other," Grayson says honestly.

I scoff at him, "Yeah Ethan liking me? In my dreams. I know he still loves her and that will never change. I'm nothing to him anymore. He knows I'm there but acts as if i'm not. Is that what love is? If that's what it's like then I never want to fall so quickly and easily as I did with Ethan because it's a trap for me. You guys had it made in the shade."

"Skylar you cannot think like that, you hear me? You will find the one for you eventually. So what if it isn't Ethan. You just have to be brave enough to let him in once you find him and never let him go,"  Lauren says sternly."

"I don't know. We won't know until the event is in front of me I guess," I yawn, "Listen, thanks for the little advice guys, I appreciate it, but I'm really tired. Emotionally and mentally. I'll see you guys at school."

I close my laptop and don't even go to sleep. I just laid there, being the Tumblr teenager I am, staring at the ceiling. I was once again drowning myself in self destructive thought of the event.

But what I didn't know was that lurking in the back of the Skype call, where Lauren and Grayson not I knew, was Ethan who heard the whole thing, who ended up drowning himself with the same self destructive thoughts that I was having. 

They wouldn't stop for either of us until the two of us came to some sort of understanding of our true emotions.

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