circles // laucy

de nada

           

It's Lucy's last day with the girls before she has to go back to college yet she's going out to dinner with just one of them because everyone else is 'busy'. Sounds like bullshit to her but okay maybe she's finally ready to spend alone time with Lauren again after a full week of the younger girl awkwardly trying to win her affections back with little things.

Just yesterday Lucy found a Walkman with a CD in it on her hotel room's bed with yet another sappy apologetic note and okay maybe she's too weak and gay to hold a grudge at a moment like that when someone's as good with words as Lauren but right now her walls are up as she's sitting on her bed, waiting for a knock on her door that she knows will make her heart jump into her throat straightaway.

The Walkman is on the bedside table where she placed it after the second song on the CD, too emotional to continue listening. Seeing as she's early and Lauren has always liked making her wait she grabs the device, plugs in her earphones and presses play. The CD continues where it left off. A new song starts playing and a beautiful voice starts singing,

Like lullabies you are,
Forever in my mind.

The song and lyrics have her captured immediately as she closes her eyes and turns the volume all the way up.

I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.

She's so caught up in the music she doesn't notice someone knocking on the door and opening it. She opens her eyes when she feels a pair of eyes on her and she jumps and takes out the earphones at the sight of Lauren, tentatively smiling at her as she plays with a button on her coat.

"Your door was open." Lauren explains, "And you're listening to my playlist."

Lucy nods, "I listen to all of them."

"I thought you threw them out."

"Not even I'm that stubborn." Lucy smiles to herself, "I really like the third song."

Lauren nods in recognition and when she starts singing along to the song, playing so loud it echoes into room, Lucy's heart drops.

"I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine,"

Lucy realizes Lauren has never sung to just her, ever and the sight and sound is so overwhelming it causes her eyes to well up with tears.

"Though you weren't mine,
You were my first love."

Lauren takes a step forward so she's right in front of her and Lucy notices the tears in the other girl's eyes as she continues to sing in a shaky voice,

"You were my first love."

The older girl gets up so she's on eye level with her.

"You're my first love."

Lauren's barely singing anymore as the song fades out, lips trembling slightly as she breathes out. "Will we ever be okay?" Her voice is barely there and Lucy can hear the sob at back of her throat.

"Let's just go eat, okay?"

"I want it to-" Lauren quickly wipes her tears like she's suddenly realizing how vulnerable she looks, "I was thinking maybe this could be a date? I know it's dumb."

Lucy shakes her head, "It's not dumb but. Neither of us are ready for that."

"When are we ready? Will we ever be?"

"I don't know." Lucy sighs. She feels like she's talking to a little kid, "How about we see how tonight goes, okay?" She turns around to shut down the music and starts walking towards the door, watching as Lauren nods before fixing her make up in the mirror.