Unbroken

F.E.A.R. Transmission 3: As War Fades

(((TWO WEEKS LATER)))

(CARTER’S POV)

The funeral was sad.  We saw Ash’s body at the service.  I cried and touched his cheek with my hand, knowing that I would never be able to hold him and vice versa.

“I miss you Ashes,” I said to him.  “Why did you have to go and leave me here?” I cried.

When they started to lower his body, I covered my face with my veil.  I was trying to hide the tears from everyone but eventually gave up.  I collapsed to my knees and started to sob.  All the bands that came with us on tour were there.  Chris and War helped me stand up and they held me. 

Eventually it was time for us to leave.  As I was leaving I put a single black rose on his grave. 

***

(((THREE MONTHS LATER)))

I haven’t moved from my bedroom since the funeral.  War, Meri and Anthony have been taking turns watching over me.  Occasionally they would get me to eat and shower, but most of the time I just lie there with Hypotenuse and Oli.

I refused to look at myself in the mirror.  I knew that my once black and red hair was now fading to back to a dull light brown with traces of black and red. 

I sighed.  Tony, Vic, Mike, and Jaime had come to see me the other day.  Jinxx and Andy visit often.  Ashley and the guys often took Staycie and Zaenne for Meri while she was my “caretaker.”

I heard a knock at the door.  I strained my ears to hear who it was.  Hypotenuse was curled in the crook of my knees while Oli was asleep next to me on my pillow.  I was wearing Ash’s old Misfits tee, sweatpants, and one of my dad’s old beanies to hide my unruly hair. 

“Thanks for coming, guys, I know this was a long ways for you,” I heard War say.  I couldn’t hear the response. 

My door opened.  I closed my eyes quickly, pretending to be asleep.

“You aren’t fooling anyone, Kitty,” I heard a familiar voice say.

“C-Chris?” I said, looking up at him.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look terrible,” he said as he sat next to me. 

“Yeah, I know,” I said.  He looked surprised that I didn’t lash out or joke with him. 

“C’mon, get dressed,” he said.

“Why?” I whined.  I didn’t want to go anywhere.  I wanted to be here and waste away to nothing.

***

(CHRIS’S POV)

“Thanks for coming, guys, I know it was a long trip for you,” War said as he opened the door.  He called me last week after Tony and the rest of PTV couldn’t cheer Carter up. 

“No problem,” Ghost whispered.  It was only Ghost, Ricky, and i.

“Is she in her room?” I asked.

“Yeah, but just to warn you, she has let everything go,” War whispered. 

“Okay,” I whispered back as I walked down the small hall to her bedroom door.  I opened the door and walked in.  She was fake sleeping.  I looked at her.  Her shirt rode up a bit to show off her Mitch Lucker tattoo and a very, sickly noticeable hip bone.  Her collar bones and cheek bones were all too noticeable as well.  Her hair was light brown with strips and splotches of black and red.  I noticed that her wrists were red and bandaged.  I sighed.  She looked truly terrible and broken.