Choosing You

Chapter 27: Everything has changed

Draft - Ene 29, 2017

Chapter 27: Everything has changed 

Jillian

I feel like a part of me just died. I am not sure which part that is, but I know there is something that is no longer functioning but if there is one thing that I am sure off. That is I am no longer the same person that I was a day ago. I know I am now a different person. Not because I change, but because what had happened made me change how I see the world or things around me. I feel like after I turn my back on her, my life just changed. I just changed.

That every time I look in the mirror, I see myself but I feel different.

"I'm sorry." Rinig kong sabi ni Sab habang naka silip ako sa labas ng binta ng bus. We are on our way to arena. Para sa game 1 ng finals namin.

Agad naman akong lumingon dito at ngumiti "Ilang beses ka bang kailangang mag sorry?" sabi ko dito. Nung una, yes, I am mad at her. But eventually na intindihan ko naman kung bakit niya ginawa yun. Gusto niyang mag usap kami ni Oli. Yung nga lang that talk did not end well at hindi na niya kasalanan yun. "Tulad ng sabi ko kalimutan mo na yun. Let's just focus on the game captain. "

"She's my best friend," she said "But you are my friend to. So please, if you need someone na makakausap mo I am just here. I am ready to listen" Ngumiti naman ako at tumango. Kahit ang totoo wala naman akong balak na sabihin sa kanya kung ano man ang iniisip o kung ano man ang nararamdaman ko ngayon dahil ayokong maipit sila ni Trina. Kaya kahit anong pilit nila I just keep my mouth shut. What happened the other day will be only between me and Oli.

"I am okay, Sab." Saka mabilis na inalis ang tingin dito. Ayokong makita niya ang mga mata ko dahil panigurado sasabihin niyang hindi totoo ang sinsabi ko. Which is actually correct because I am not actually okay. I am broken deep within. At siguro gasgas na ang salitang binitawan ko dahil paulit ulit kong nagiging sagot iyon at hindi ko alam kung hanggang kelan. "Stop thinking too much about other people Sab. Think about yourself." As I try to shift the topic. This may be better dahil kita ko sa peripheral view ko that she's looking at me intently. As if trying to to analyze what I said "Akala mo ba hindi ko alam?" agad naman ako lumingon sa kanya. "After ng huling laban natin, sobrang distracted ka. May ngyari ba sa sasakyan ni Yanna?" Yes, I am dealing with my own broken heart but it doesn't mean wala na akong pakialam sa mga tao sa paligid ko. "Dahil napapansin ko, after nun hindi ko na siya madalas makitang naka dikit sayo."

"Siguro tama lang ang ng yayari." Sabi nito and the way she sound right now I think hindi maganda kung ano ang ngyari sa loob ng sasakyan "I am not good for her Jillian. She deserve someone better. She deserve someone who will love and treat her better."

"Sino ka para sabihin yan, Sab?" napayuko naman ito dahil sa sinabi ko "Hindi ikaw ang pwedeng mag decide para sa kanya Sab. Siya lang ang may karapatan to choose who she deserve."

"To be honest, I do not know what to do."

"You sound like you are in love with her." I said at buti na lang talaga nasa likod kaming dalawa at walang nakaka rinig sa pinag uusapan namin

"I was attracted to her."

"You was?" mocking her with the answer

Ngumiti ito "Yeah, I was dahil ngayon hindi ko na alam." Sabi nito sabay tayo sa tabi ko.

Hindi ko na pansin na andito na pala kami sa arena.

"Tulad ng sabi mo, let's focus on this game. We will make sure we will take home the crown!" saka inalis ang tingin sa akin "Okay, team! " saka pumapalakpak pa para makakuha ng atensyon sa mga team mates namin "let's do this!" sigaw nito at nauna ng nag lakad sa aisle at mabilis na bumaba ng bus.