A lot of this chapter is based on personal experience. So if you think what's happening to her is bullshit, suck a fat one.
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Every time you loose someone close to you, it's like losing a piece of yourself. Sarah Ruth did feel a lot of pain when her brother passed, but she didn't know him too well, so it wasn't as scarring. But when he mother died, it was like losing your other half. They had this special mother daughter bond, and now it's gone. "Would you like some strawberry ice cream?" Her asks as he slowly opens her bedroom door.
"That was moms favorite," she says softly. Her dad mentally face palms, how could he forget that. "Right, um vanilla?" Sarah Ruth shakes her head and hides her face in the pillow. "You're going to have to go back to school soon," he says to her. She huffs, dreading the thought. Sarah Ruth has been missing school for over a month now, and her dad has been to soft to be stern and tell her she needs to go to school. "I'll go back on Friday," she says honestly.
He closes the door, leaving her be. It's currently Wednesday morning, so two more days of freedom before school again. Sarah Ruth flips over on her back and stares up at her ceiling. "I miss you," she whispers. A tear falls down her face, but she wipes it away. "You cry more than a infant," she mumbles to herself.
She strips of her clothes and gets in the shower. She sits in the floor of the shower, letting the water fall on her as her eyes are shut. Sarah Ruth likes to just sit down and think, especially when she's in a calm environment. Showers seem to calm her down, the feeling of the water running all over your body just appeals a lot to her.
She hears her room door open then her fathers voice, "I'm running some errands, be back in a bit." She doesn't say anything in return. Sarah Ruth has noticed that her dad likes to act like nothing happened. He tries to act like he's not hurting, but she knows he is. She can hear him cry himself to sleep each night from the living room couch. He refuses to sleep in his own bed, saying it smells too much like Rachael.
Sarah Ruth wraps her rope around her body and lays down on her bed. Her wet hair dripping onto her covers. "Breakfast is ready!" She freezes. What she hears isn't her dads voice, it sounds a lot like her moms voice. She opens her door and walks down the stairs, doing both slowly. She looks into the kitchen from the steps and sees her mother standing in the kitchen, cooking.
She covers her mouth gasping, "Mom!" But when she says this her mom doesn't turn around, she vanishes. Sarah Ruth stares blankly at the kitchen, waiting for the image to come back.
Imagining her Mom has been happening since she passed. She's constantly hearing her, seeing her, when in reality she's dead. "I'm going crazy," Sarah Ruth says. She jumps when there's a knock on her door, and she really doesn't want to answer it. But, she does, and her eyes meet Corey's.
He's been trying his best to get her out of his mind, but it's no use. He isn't sure why she's so upset or why she hasn't been at school, but he sure is aching to know. "Corey, school has started," she tries to shut the door in his face but he stops her. "I know," he steps inside, shutting the door behind him. "Could I say you could come in?" He squints his eyes at her. She's been crying.
"I'm in a damn robe Corey-" "So what," he cuts her off. Corey isn't trying to be rude, he's just tired of being ignored by the girl who helps him keep holding on. "I don't know why you're mad at me, or why-" "I'm not mad at you, anymore." She cuts him off this time. "Then what is it? Why have you not been at school for over a month? I know your dad would let that slide, but you mom would never let you.." Sarah Ruth doesn't hear the rest.
He's right, her mom would never let her do this. She'd hug her, tell her to stay strong, and punch anyone who tried to change her mind. "Earth to Sarah Ruth," Corey's hands are on her shoulders shaking her. "I'm going back on Friday," she says softly. "Let's spend a day together?" He offers. Sarah Ruth shakes her head and takes a step back, "I don't want to." He frowns at her words.
She walks away from him and into the kitchen, but gasps loudly when she once again sees her mom in the kitchen. This time she's bloody and has tears streaming down her face. "No, no, no," Sarah Ruth repeats. She drops to her knees and scratches her nails through her scalp. "Please stop," hands wrap around her waist and she screams. "Woah, Sarah Ruth what's going on?" She stares into Corey's blue eyes in fear.
"Nothing," she lies. Corey helps her stand up, "That wasn't nothing, Sarah Ruth." She sets her palms on the counter, her eyes fixed on her fingers. "I'm going crazy," she mumbles, but Corey hears her. "What are you talking a about?" She ignores what he says and pulls his upstairs, shutting her room door behind her. "Turn around, I'm going to change." "And you had to bring me up here, why?" "I don't want to be alone right now."
Sarah Ruth changes and informs Corey he can turn back around. "Please, hug me," she says with a faint smile. Corey doesn't know what's going on with her, but he can tell something bad has happened. They melt into each other's embrace, neither wanting to pull away. "I don't want to be alone, I'm scared to be alone," she confesses. She doesn't like the thought of not being able to cling onto someone when she imagines her mom.
"You need to tell me what's going on," he says to her. She nods, knowing she does. "M-My mom, she was in a-a car a-accident," Sarah Ruth stutters out. "Is se okay?" Corey asks with concern. She shakes her head, and the tears hold in her eyes. "Stop crying!" She yells at herself. "Shh, deep breaths," Corey whispers. He wipes the tears that have made their way don her face. "It's going to be okay," he says, assuring her.
She pushes him away and stomps her feet, "It's not okay, nothing is okay!" She picks up her pillow and throws it at Corey but he catches it. "I'm tried of people saying it's going to be okay when it's not! My moms dead, nothing is okay!" Corey stares at her with wide eyes, he had no idea she could yell so loud. But he also had no idea her mom was dead.
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Hey guys! Haven't updated this book in a few days, oops. Okay, but I have a little story time. So I like to babysit; it's just fun and something I enjoy doing at my age. Earlier I was babysitting three kids, one girl and two boys. The two boys were younger, being 7 and 5, I think. And the girl is 8, I think, not sure. But I was getting their food out of the oven, lasagna. I was carrying it over to the table so I could scoop out pieces and put it on their plates, then me being me, I dropped the damn thing. I dropped the lasagna all over the floor and my feet; life's great, right? No, I wanted to kill myself. So I got the girl and oldest boy to help me clean it up, and put it back in the pan. I couldn't throw away the food and act like they ate it cause their older siblings would be home soon to eat the left overs, so I had to act like nothing happened. And I told the little kids to not say anything about it. I'm a bad person tbh.
