American Historical Trivia

George Washington- 2nd President of the United States

After the American Revolution there was not a smooth shift from colonial America to Constitutional United States. Unfortunately, I learned this at an alarming age of 15 or 16. That's not the point.

So, America wins the war and they're like, "Alright now what?" And John Dickinson- a Quaker Congressman- writes the Articles of Confederation, which was basically a really shitty Constitution.

The document held the Original Thirteen™ in a "firm league of friendship". Literally, that is a direct quote. To say it was a weak government is an understatement.

The United States lived really uncomfortably under these Articles for roughly 7 years, it was ratified in 1781 and replaced by the Constitution of the United States in 1787.

They didn't even have a president under the Articles of Confederation!!

Like the Articles said something like, "The central government is going to be really weak, to the point where you don't even need a fucking president. All the power's with the states and Congress."

But the bros at the Articles of Confederation convention were like, "Let's have a president anyway...even if he doesn't do anything."

And so they elected John Hancock, because he had previously been the president of the convention for the Declaration of Independence and Americans fucking LOVED him.

Hancock gets word of things, wrinkles up his nose and promptly replies, "No, that's stupid."

History books could have been teaching kids George Washington as the second president if it wasn't for angsty- and sassy- John Hancock refusing an offer from the entire Congress to become president. 

Moral of the story, John Hancock is a sassafras who's only known for large handwriting because he was grumpy.