Insight

Chapter Fourteen: Heck

"There's not even a semblance of any sort of schedule." Raven commented after the guys and Aiden had left. Iggy had written down how much time there had been between Nurse visits and the times ranged from four minutes to slightly upwards of twenty minutes.

"How are we supposed to read the damn newspaper?" I muttered under my breath, looking over Iggy's list. When no one answered, I looked up from the paper. Moxy shrugged at me. I was getting increasingly frustrated the more I thought about it. The combination of the secrecy in which I was given the newspaper, the protest outside, the weird non-mention of consequence for receiving an outside item, the way Megaphone Guy blatantly lied about the illnesses, and the sudden increase of Nurses made me absolutely positive that there was something in the newspaper that we all needed to know. Moreover, for some reason, I felt that the newspaper had clues as to why I couldn't remember anything about my dreamscape or that it would help bring back my memories. Thinking about my lack of memory made me even more frustrated and I crumpled up the list of times and I threw it as hard as I possibly could on the floor of the cabin in a fit of rage.

"I'm going to shower." I stated, eyes fixated on where the paper had landed. I was on the verge of tears and needed to leave the situation.

"We should probably hide this." Raven said softly, picking up the ball of paper from the floor. I turned sharply and refrained from slamming the bathroom door. I removed all my clothing angrily, which wasn't the best idea because my shirt got stuck on my elbow and in wrestling with it, I ripped the shirt at the seam. After swearing a sufficient amount, I turned on the shower and continuously tested the temperature of the water with my toe.

Once it had become a pleasant warmth, I got in and promptly decided I didn't want to stand. But instead of sitting on the chair that was provided, I leaned against the side of the shower opposite the curtain and slid down the wall until my arms were resting on my knees. I buried my face into my crossed forearms and began crying. I wasn't sure if it was from frustration or my inability to remember my dreamscape as everyone else had, but I cried silently, barely aware of the water pounding on the back of my head. Then the water grew cold, and I forced myself to stand up and turn the handle controlling the temperature to make it warmer. I sat on the chair this time, and began wearily washing myself. Why me? I thought to myself. Why am I the only one that can't remember anything? Why was I the one to receive that stupid newspaper? Is this because I took the Anti-Serum? Somehow my thoughts landed back on Sam and the other kid that had gotten extremely ill and I wondered if the second kid had also died. The memory of it made me shiver. I just have bad luck. I told myself. Just... really bad luck. My memories will come back to me in time, they're already trying. I tried to remember my earlier visions but they came in blurry. I'll find a way to read the newspaper. It'll tell me everything I need to know. I repeated to myself, trying to make myself believe that everything would turn out okay. And I won't get sick like those other kids. Megaphone Guy was lying, it wasn't the Anti-Serum. I added on. Once I had somewhat regained my composure and felt adequately clean, I got up and turned off the shower. Realizing that I hadn't brought clean clothes to change into, I scolded myself and pulled the ripped shirt over my head. Looking in the mirror, I figured it wouldn't be acceptable to wear out into the more open parts of camp but was pretty sure my cabinmates wouldn't have too much of a problem with it.

When I exited the bathroom, no one said anything but Moxy looked up.

"Oh woah, Syany, your shirt."

"Yeah, I, uh... yeah." I said eloquently, not knowing how to explain. "I'm gonna ask the next Nurse that comes in if she can get me a new one." I climbed up onto my bunk and pulled out my MusicScape, plugging in the piece of equipment that made it so only I could hear what I was listening to and putting it on shuffle. I let myself drift into a really light sleep, still being aware enough to wake myself up if I heard the the cabin door open.