I'm A Not Girl//PHAN

Chapter 9:

Phil's P.O.V
I glare down at the shaking girl in the corner of my hideout. She deserves it so why is she so shaky. The gang need to hurry up since I've already considered letting Dawn go and saying I did it myself than let them just her.

Why do I feel guilty. Just remember what Caspar and Connor have said. They always felt guilty at first. I never feel guilty about hurting other girls but for some reason I feel sorrow to Dawn. She must be pretty messed up mentally with all this bullying.

She deserves it. She wants to be a boy for attention and I'm gonna give her that frickin attention. "Stop crying!" I exlaim throwing my hands on the air making Dawn wince.

Why is she wincing. Whatever happened to her before must have been pretty bad. What do I care anyway.

She stops crying for a minute and I begin to relax until I hear it again. I stand up and lift my leg before slamming it into her side.

A yelp of pain escapes her lips before a groan of pain. I kick again. The usual adrenaline of kicking someone isn't there. The rush of joy and the urge to kick more. I kick her harder than before for the last time.

Suddenly she screams and a few sobs escape her. I freeze in place as I look at what I've done. A pale frame curled in a ball sobbing. "I'm s-sorry" she hiccups pulling her knees to her chest. "Please stop it hurts!" She hiccups again. I shake as she repeats how sorry she is over and over again.

My face contorts in regret however it is short lasted as I replace it with a scowl. The meaner I am the further she will stay away from me.

"Stop being such a goddamn crybaby!" I snap making her muffle her sobs. I should feel bad. I don't feel bad. I don't feel anything.

Smiling slightly I look at the mess in front of me. Tears stain her face and her eyes are raw and red. Its wrong for her to feel like this.

Well any normal person would think its wrong. I guess I'm just not normal. Not normal. That's what everyone at my old school said.

I was the loser of school. Shoved into lockers. Locked inside storage cupboards. Insulted. Physically abused. Mentally abused. You name it. I've suffered it. It will be better for Dawn this way.

If she suffers at first she will learn to mould what people want. She will turn herself into an emotionless drone. One that seems to be the luckiest on the outside but inside is a wreck but that doesn't matter because no one cares. No one ever cares.

"Why are you crying?" Sniffles a small voice beneath me. Quickly I wipe my eyes stopping any tears threatening to spill. "IM NOT CRYING!" I yell at her making her shuffle backwards into the wall. Frustrated I run my hands through my knotted black hair. I don't need anyones help.

Angrily I pull out my phone and practically punch the buttons to contact Caspar. Biting my lip I wait for the familiar "sup man" off Caspar or Connor depending who got to the phone first.

"Where the hell are you!" I say as calmly as possible.
"Near the orphanage"
"For god sake you should have been here ages ago...how old do you think I can keep it here without being noticed"
"Chill man!"
"Go into the back garden of the orphanage and if you are asked anything say you are Dawns friend"
"Alright then see yo-"
"I'm not done...go to the bushes with all the flowers and then I want you to go through the trapdoor!"
"Okay well me, Connor and Ollie are just at the end of the street"

Without bothering to reply I turn off my phone. I look down to check Dawn is still there to see her looking at me more terrifyed than ever.

Dan's P.OV
"I'm sorry!" I whisper as tears threaten to spill. My side still hurts as I begin to try and sit a little straighter. I hiss in pain before falling onto the ground again.

Tears blur my vision but I can see Phil looking at me and scowling. Immediantly I shut up. I knew it wouldn't be long before this happens again. I try to be positive. And I will be. No matter what I'm going Ro pick up food and put down razors.

I'm not going to be an even bigger dissapointment. Maybe if I try to ignore it I won't feel it. Maybe all the pain will stop. Maybe I should pick up a razor.

No dan don't be stupid! I mentally curse as I even think about that. I'm never going to that place again. Sure I'll be in the darkness still but not fully. Not yet anyway.

"Phil?" questions a loud voice. Eyes widening I lean over to the entrance of the concealed little house. I gasp as I see three more people walked in. Each one with a sly smirk just like Phil when he started kicking me.

As I feel them loom over me I try to shuffle into a corner. I don't know why. Maybe I'm hoping for it to just swallow me up. Let me escape.

But that thought just like most of my hope is short lived when I feel a pressure hit my side. Groaning in pain I curl onto my side.

"Fucking wimp that was only the first one!" Laughs one of the boys. Pain shoots through my veins as another foot collides with my body except this time in my stomach.

Tears threaten to fall down my already damp cheeks as I feel the foot again but this time it twist and turns into my ribs. I cry out in pain as they allply more and more pressure.

"Shut up!" Yells another boy,"Stupid goddamn tranny!" Gasping as I fist collides with my face I try to cover it as best as possible with my hands. Please make it stop.

I forgot how much this hurt. Well obviously I didn't forget but I don't remember it being this brutal even though I know I've suffered worst. Another fist slams into me.

Suddenly I feel a pair of hands wrap around my neck and immediantly look up. Squirming I try to get out his grip but its no use as they are far stronger than me.

A strange gargle escapes my lips as they squeeze their hands tighter around my neck. I bring my arms up to pull the arms down but suddenly they let go.

Coughing violently I curl into a ball gasping for air. Laughs erupt from all four boys. How can they laugh. I never understood why they laughed. I just dealt with it which is exactly what I'm going to do right now.

Finally the burning stops and the pain seems to die down. For a second I thought they left until I saw a fist linger above me.

Fear washed over me as the fist got closer and then...

Darkness!

Okay so I felt really sad writing this but its important to the plot...anyway what's going on with Philly and his past....tune in to the next episode of Robarazzi to find out more.......I'll stop now ^-^
Also 73 reads wowza my brain is exploding rn omg
-Chloe The MemeLord