I'm A Not Girl//PHAN

Chapter 12:

Phil's P.O.V
"You know it isn't actually that bad here I thought it would be disgusting" Caspar says as he stands up off my bed and begins to pace around the room taking in every detail.

"Sorry for all those times we have slagged off kids in orphanages they are actually decent!" He says which shocks me. He never apologizes

Simply I just nod before reaching down the side of my bed for my Xbox controler. Once I feel the smooth surface against my hand I lift it up and hold it out raising an eyebrow.

"Nah sorry I've got to get home soon or else my phone will get took off me and that will not be fun at all" he sighs  wandering over to his bag. We never usually say bye.

Caspar and Ollie say that cool popular kids like us don't need to say bye. For some reason I feel compelled to and bit tongue. Its pretty odd. I don't feel as if I'm one of them.

No Dawn is just a one off who will soon be gone anyway. I'm not risking myself for her even if she is hot.

Phil what the actual fuck. I did not just say that. Oh my god. I don't think she's hot. No way.

I watch as Caspar walks down the stairs chatting to Opals roommate. I think her name is Libby or something like that. Hes strange like that.

Despite his rock solid persona around little children or out of society's eye he's the kindest person I've seen.

Sighing I stuff the Xbox controller back under my mattress and pull out my headphones. My hands shake a little as I plug them into the slot and unlock my phone.

I bring up my usual iTunes and scroll across until one song catches my eye.

Smells Like Teen Spirit
Nirvana

A little ,I guess you could say, deja vu washes over me as I smile at the sing I haven't heard in months. As I hover my pale finger over the button I hear a scream which pulls me away.

"PHIL COME HERE QUICK PHIL!"

Lucy? Why the hell is she screaming. Annoyed I stand up and stuff my phone unto my pocket.

As I wander onto the landing I notice a slight desperacy in Lucy's eyes as she mumbles througha. small gap in the door.

"What's wrong!" I huff at her not amused by the fact she's screaming over a bathroom door.

"Dan has a knife and h-hes" she stutters with tears falling down her face,"I think h-hes d-dead!"

As I hear those words an all too familiar feeling washes over me. This is my fault. I need to help.

No you shouldn't help because you hate her. But its my fault. But you're Phil Lester. Untouchable. Emotionless.

Well sorry today brain but i'm going to help this girl.

As a rush of adrenaline shoots through me I shove the door with my shoulder. Another shove sends the door flying open.

"Lucy why is Phil banging on door" a cheery voice chirps. "Libby go and find Opal and play with Her" Lucy commands calmly but also sternly.

I crouch on the floor to see Dawn laid on the bathroom floor her eyes almost shut but not entirely. Her hair is messy and her flower crown wonky. I stare down as her lips try to move but no sounds leave.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!" I scream picking up her wrist. I cannot even count how many scars there are nebernind the fresh ones which are almost invisible under the dark red blood.

I made someone do this. This so my fault. Its all my fault. I've got to make this better. As soon as she wakes up. I'm telling her the truth about me.

"P-ph-phil?"

A wave of relief crashes into me as I hug them tightly. I feel them take a sharp intake of breath but I didn't care. I wasnt badass phil anymore. I wasn't the straight slut. I was old phil. Even if only for a second.

Lucy's P.O.V

As I hear dan mutter Phils name relief floods me like a tsunami and I collapse onto the floor. I wipe away my tears with my sleeves. Ashley had to leave to go back home since she can only stay a few nights a week.

Sometimes she has to stay with Chris and their parents. Its sad but I love her and know I will see her again soon.

Hes alive. But maybe not for long. I watch in horror as his eyes shut. Water. We need water.

I sprint downstairs to get a glass of water or a bottle. Frankly I don't care.

"Lucy are you alright" Dylanie asks me,"I heard the noise" Quick an excuse. I need an excuse.

Thankfully my life worked as I run up the stairs trying not to drop the cup however the sight I see males me drop the cup straight away.

Dan is in Phil's arms. But not Phil's arms really. More like old Phil's arms. The kind ones. The victimised ones. The ones he hurt. Tears prick in my eyes until Phil looks up at me crying.

Quickly I give him the water and he begin to dab it on Dan's cuts until you can see just a faint layer of red tinted water over his cuts making then clearer.

My heart drops when I see how much he's actually damaged himself. Why would he do this. Why?

Phil's P.O.V

Fumbling around the cupboard I hear Lucy's soft cries as she whispers soemthing I can't make out to Dan.

Why should I be the one alive and not the one dying on the bathroom floor. As my hands feel the familliar texture of a bandage I pull it out and jump onto the floor.

With one hand I pick his arm, wincing myself at the amount of cuts there are on his wrist. Each one deeper than another.

Shaking I wrap the bandage around his arm before securing it with tape. "Is he still breathing?" I mumble sheepishly already knowing I was about to be lectured.

"If my best friend wasn't only just alive in my arms I would punch you" she growls before rubbing the back of Dans hand with her thumb,"And dont worry no one will find out about this okay!"

Yet another wave if relief washes over me. I deserve punishment. I'm going to tell Dan for sure now. No more secrets.

Dan's P.O.V

Slowly I open my eyes to be confronted by Lucy staring at me with Phil by her side. Whats happening?

My head aches as I lift it to look Lucy in the eyes before flopping it back down as the pain was too much.

"Oh my gosh Dan!" Lucy gasps before hugging me tightly with one knee on either side if me. If not for the fogginess right now I would have felt awkward.

What did I do. One quick glance at my wrist confirms my suspicions. I guess I went too fast. Too much in one time. Sighing I roll my head back into my left shoulder and slouch a little more.

"If youre tired go to sleep okay and we will wake you up I promise" Lucy sobs into my shoulder, "I love you so much!"

As her sentence trails away and my mind becomes to feel distance my eyes lull and everything goes black for god knows what time today...

What's Phillys secret? Well at least Danny is still alive. I hope you didnt go through too many tissues because I sure did. Anyway I've got no social life to go to so I'll be updating again soon

-Chloe Is a Fruit Roll Up