Welcome To My World

XVI-Struggling Friendships

I was at my dad's house. It was really a mess, I mean, he has two cats and a week ago he bought a dog. They were always going after each other and the dog didn't know were to pee or to crap. She sometimes peed in the sofa. And sometimes my cats scratched her. But she was really cute.
I was petting her, after we had dinner and Harry published a new chapter (Them). I read it and I sent  Jack a text telling him that Harry was right.
J: Right about what?
D: Have you read his new chapter?
J: No.
D: Go check it out.
Jack read it and then he was online again. I mean, Harry was kind of right when he said that it looked like we were his backup plans. And then I saw that Alfred was also online.
"Oh, really, now he's going to talk to him about us. Great idea. Wait a second... Harry also talked about Alfred's plan. Shit."
Jack sent me a screenshot of a conversation with Alfred. It looked like she was confronting him.
D: Oh. Are you mad at me, I wasn't talking about that when I told you to read the chapter.
Then, my phone started to ring. It was Jack.
"Dad, I really need to answer this, I'm going upstairs."
I locked the door to my room and answered her call. The first thing I heard was someone sobbing.
"Jack, are you ok?"
"No, I'm not, I'm worried about Alfred. I-I confronted him and then he started saying that he was a horrible person and that he didn't deserve to live..." she started crying even more.
"Jack, calm down. Breathe, ok?"
"He doesn't answer my texts or my phone calls."
"Jack, calm down. Do you think that he..."
"Yes..."
"Would you like me to phone him?"
"Yes, do that please."
"Ok. I'm phoning him, bye."
I phoned him twice and he didn't answer. I gave Jack Alfred's mother's phone number, for him to call.
J: It's all my fault. As far as we know, he could be dead.
D: Don't say that. It's not. Could you tell me exactly what he said to you?
He sent me more screenshots, were Alfred was having a breakdown and Jack tried to help him. In those texts, Jack even said that he was a better person than me, because I hated Pearl for no reason. I had my reasons and I was the one who was trying to help him.
J: See, it's my fault.
D: Maybe he'll do what he did in the past two months and ignore your existence. At least he won't be dead
J: Wow, you're great at cheering someone up.
D: Bad people don't cheer other people up.
J: None of you is a bad person, I think that there aren't bad people.
D: And look where you are now.
I admit that this comment was unecessary, but he trusted everyone. Even if he got hurt.
D: I think that he's not capable of killing himself. You shouldn't either.
J: Why shouldn't I? No one wants me happy!
D: I do.
J: Really? Because no one seems to give a shit right now.
D: I give a shit.
J: Really? It doesn't look like you do. You know what. Maybe you should just leave me alone.
That comment really hurt my feelings. How could he say that!? If I didn't give a shit I wouldn't be talking to him. He just talked to me again when he read chapter XIII.
J: "A part of me understood why Mary wasn't friends with Jack anymore"
D: She has her reasons.
J: Really? What are you, her little pet?
"If I was her pet I wasn't talking to you. Damn, do you have to be that mean? It's funny though. Mary said that I was Jack's pet. And I used to be Margaret's pet. But I'm done of not thinking with my own head."
J: OMG, I'm sorry, I'm mentally unstable.
D: I'm not anyone's pet. When will you upload another chapter?
J: You can't be talking about this right now. I've been crying for the past hour, my best friend could be dead and I want to kill myself.
D: I didn't know...
"Well, the last one I did."
J: You could've taken a guess. Alfred could be dead, Connor doesn't reply to my texts and I've lost all hope.
D: Don't lose it. Monday you two will have a conversation and everything will be ok.
But I wasn't so sure about that. I mean, what if Alfred did kill himself? What would Jack do? Jack might have been very mean, and he just made me feel useless, but I still wanted to help.
And then, there were those questions in the back of my head.
"Is he really still your friend?"
"Will you be enough for him?"
"Did Alfred really kill himself?"
"Will you be useless?"
"Should you just back off."
"Will you be able to help?"
These were the questions that haunted my mind and I was scared for not knowing the answers.

Oh my gosh, I'm so tired, it's 4:45 a.m. and I spent the last five hours writing these four chapters. What do you think that will happen next?
Do you really think that Alfred killed himself?
Do you think that Daniel and Jack are drifting apart?
If we're lucky, you'll know soon.