Welcome To My World

XXXVII-Repercussions

Oh, drama. The thing that everyone hates, but deep down there loves. The thing that causes many problems for everyone. And also, my guilty pleasure.
Life is interesting, but not that much when it doesn't have drama spicing it up.
And why am I talking about drama? Well, because it's with a drama that I started the week, a drama that would cause many things to change.
"Wait, tell me about them again!" I said, trying to peak at Jack's phone.
"Well, okay. First there's Florence. She's a really cute girl I know, but sometimes she's a little bitchy."
"Then there's..."
"Then there's Bryce. I met him on social media, and he's straight. But he said I turned him gay. And he's twenty, by the way."
Jack kept talking about his crushes and how he met them, and as he did that, I figured out things that made the past make a lot more sense.
He was polyamorous. He loved more than a person at the same time. It made sense, since he never had favorites between his best friends.
But he was afraid, though. Not everyone is open to share someone.
"Isn't Connor polyamorous as well?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Like, didn't he have that problem, a year ago, for loving too many people at the same time? Maybe he felt the same as you do now."
"Yeah, maybe he did...but I'm not talking to him now, I'm still not ready."
The bell rang as we walked up the school's main ramp, and I started heading towards the class's door. But I stopped when someone stopped right in front of me, on the other side.
Ned, the green eyed boy I had been watching for the past week was standing right in front of me.
We stood there for a couple of seconds. I don't know if we were waiting for the other one to get through the door, or if we were both just looking at each, but I stood there until he broke eye contact, walking through the door.
The class was strange. I got called by that name during it. I was calm, doing homework, when I suddenly heard Oliver's voice saying "Daniel is so strange."
I looked at him, but he didn't seem to be looking back. At least not then. Because for three times I tried to look at Ned, and for three times I couldn't do it because Oliver was looking at me. I didn't see his eyes, but I could see his head facing my direction.
The same thing happened at the lunch line. I had just gotten in, and I was standing besides Jack, when I saw Ned standing there, at the other side of the room. But this time something was different. He looked at me, and a smile splattered across his face. Oliver was also looking.
"They know..." Was all that I could think then. I didn't know how, and I didn't know why, I just knew they did.
And then, in a blink of an eye, Ned was back with his emotionless expression and Oliver was talking to Adrien. Like nothing had happened.
Oh, Adrien.
Another important part of what came. Brian loved Adrien. We didn't know if Adrien loved Brian. And we needed a way to figure it out.
And that's when I had a plan. I hadn't had one for a very long time, maybe it would help me stop with all of these paranoid ideas.
I sat next to Jack and Pearl in a class that Brian didn't have. And that was Adrien's place. My plan was that we'd have a fake conversation in a note about Brian loving Adrien, and he's fear of Oliver exposing him, so we'd forget the little note at Adrien's desk.
It was a great plan, the chances of Adrien figuring all out were really small and it could stop him from telling anything to Oliver. But what surprised me was when Brian didn't accept my plan.
He was too scared. I totally got him, but what I didn't get was why he kept saying that this was completely different from me and Charles.
Charles was my best friend since third grade. I fell for him, although I knew I could ruin our friendship because of the simple fact that he was homophobic.
Now Adrien...Adrien was a boy that Brian barely knew, and that he started liking one or two years ago. It's not that he had more chances than I had with Charles, but he had nothing to lose. He wouldn't lose a friend, he'd just lose a dream.
But even after all of these reasons, Brian was still scared about using my plan.
Is this it?
Was this the drama I was talking about?
Well, of course not. This is just the beginning.
As I had said before, Jack was getting ready to tell Connor that he was polyamorous. But it all changed after he told Florence the same thing.
It turned out she didn't want to be "Jack's puppet" or "played by him".
Jack told her a million times that he loved her, but she just couldn't get it.
Jack was really depressed about all of this, but things got much worse when Alfred started saying stuff like "I told you so." and "KYS" out of nowhere. But that's not just it. After talking to Jack, Florence tried to commit suicide.
And as expected, Jack blamed himself. He also blamed himself for Alfred being mad at him.
And what was I doing in the middle of this mess? Trying to get it all together, without success.
I decided to go next to Brian on my way to our school trip. It looked like a good idea, but I honestly felt a little bit ignored. Maybe I'm overreacting, but it didn't seem that I was needed anymore.
And he spent the whole field trip next to Adrien, the boy he loved, while I spent mine trying to calm Jack down due to some creepy mannequins. They also creeped me out, but not as much as they did it to him.
"Always keep your hopes low. If the things you want happen, you'll be really happy, and when they don't, you were already expecting that." I told him this while trying to help him with telling Connor everything.
But he didn't really follow my advice. How do I know? Because when Connor said he didn't want to share him with anyone, Jack's world burned down all over again.
I figured that out when I talked to him the next day.
Oliver had a girlfriend, but they had broken up last year. But me and Charles had seen them kissing each other again, so I wanted to tell him.
"I have something to tell you guys!" I told Brian and Jack after I finally got their attention. "It's good for you, Brian. And Jack...you might not like-"
"Ouch!" He said as he quickly pulled his arms away from my hands.
My was blown when everything from last night started making sense.
"Oh my god! Jack...you relapsed." It all made sense. The long sleeves, he and Alfred talking about cuts getting infected. Even his pain when someone touched his arm. "When?"
"I didn't..." He said. He was a bad liar, his eyes said everything.
I wasn't disappointed, but I was sad. I was so proud of him when he stopped cutting, but now he had done it again.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about how he felt, even during my lunch with Harry. I pitied him.
But all that pity blinded me, because in the meantime, I missed the looks that Ned made at Brian during last period.
I missed them. Brian didn't.
I can't say I hadn't thought about this. Brian was probably better than me in dating. He was confident, he was cuter, he could show some emotion.
Me? I was just the silent guy who stayed in the background watching people's lives as his fell apart.
We made a test. Brian would pass in front of him, and we'd see if he looked.
Well, I think it's obvious that he did. He stopped playing on his phone and anything he was doing as Brian passed through him. He literally checked him out, right in front of me.
Why?
Just why?
It didn't end there though. I was almost convincing Brian to do the note plan, when Jack offered to help him with a plan.
I like Jack, a lot, but that's my job! That's what I do! If I can't make a plan to help someone else, then what the hell am I supposed to do?
But this wasn't the worst part of this. I remember when I still liked Charles, I asked Jack to help me with a plan, to come out. Nothing bad, just coming out. And Jack basically told me to do it myself, and didn't help. He helped a little bit later, but he could've helped much more.
And now he was making a plan for Brian to come out to his crush.
I think I'm done with all of this.
With being the one trying to keep this shit all together.
With being the one to pretend that is alright, just because other people's problems are worse.
With being the only one giving a shit.
And to think I was worried about taking Harry for granted.
I started to think that I'm the one who's being taken for granted.
Do they care about me?
Do they want to help me?
Will they help me?
Would they care?
These are the questions I ask myself when there's a drama.
Because everyone is too caught up in their own dramas to realize something.
Dramas cause things on others. Dramas cause repercussions.