Welcome To My World

XXXIX-National Coming Out Day

"Guys, I'm not sure I should do this..." Cathy said, as her finger lingered above the "send" button.
"You totally should." I said, as I tried to calm her down. "From what you told me, your mom is always asking if you're dating Artemis. I don't think she'll mind if you tell her you're pan."
"I won't tell her I'm pan. I don't care enough. I'll just tell them I'm not straight."
It didn't really look that she didn't care. From the way she kept asking us throughout the day if she should do it, it looked that she was on the verge of a breakdown.
Cathy had just come out to her grandma, and the fact that the woman had ended that conversation to talk to her neighbor really eased a little bit of the tension.
"C'mon, just do it!" Alfred said. "When I did it, I texted my mom, and I was on the other side of the ocean. This isn't the same thing, but you'll still give her time to cope with all of this."
"But what if she asks something like, I don't know, why didn't I tell earlier. Or if it's all just a phase."
"Well, just tell her that you were afraid of how she would react. Or that you wanted her to be proud of you for something before you came out." I told Cathy, telling the same reasons why I wouldn't come out in that day.
"Because I don't care about it that much. And I don't want to show her I care too much."
"Well, then I don't know how to help you."
"You know what, screw this. I'm going to do it."
She grabbed her phone, and her finger lingered again above the button that could change the way her parents would see her.
She finally pressed it.
"It's a sign! It didn't work!"
"What do you mean?"
"I pressed the button, and it didn't send."
"Then press it again."
She did, and it failed one more time. It was just at the third try that the text was sent. She also did the same thing to her dad.
"I can't believe I just did this."
"Well, you did. Congrats."
"I'm so nervous right now..." Well, she should be nervous, because the next thing we heard was a buzz coming from her phone.
"Guys, its my mom!"
"Pick up!"
I heard most of the conversation, and from what I heard her mom wasn't fine. She sounded really pissed.
"She's pissed of at me!" Cathy said, as she turned off the phone.
"Well, give her time, she just needs to cope with all of this." I tried calming her down.
"I guess. My dad has no idea what I'm trying to say, I'll talk better to them when I get home."
I wanted to spend more time with her, to help her calm down, but she had a class.
"So, who are you going to come out to?" Alfred asked as we walked down the stairs to the football field.
"What do you mean?"
"It's National Coming Out Day. You could come out to someone."
"Like whom?"
"Well, come out to Linda...or to Martha. They haven't been here since fifth grade, you probably won't see them in a long time."
"If I came out to someone, I think it would be to Jill. I don't know how, but the last time I saw her she knew that I'd liked Charles. I told it was a lie, maybe I could say I lied."
"Yeah, I suppose you could."
"I just remembered something! Do you want to hear the Fantasy Forest songs I'm assigning to the characters?"
"Yeah, sure."
I had spent the past week trying to find songs for all of the characters, and the ones I already had were:
Charles/Fawn-Crazy=Genius by Panic! At The Disco
Harry/Ferret-Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez
Mary/Blackbird-Oh No by Marina and the Diamonds
Pearl/Rabbit-Starring Role by Marina and the Diamonds
Brian/Cat- Bad at Love by Halsey
Jack/Wolf-Devil in Me by Halsey
Daniel/Fox-Angel on Fire by Halsey
"Before I show you these, do you have any song you think that defines how you feel right now?"
"Well, there are five of them until now, I'll show you which."
It was really hard to choose between those, but I ended up choosing "I'm Gonna Show You Crazy" by Bebe Rexha.
We talked about a little bit of everything. About Ally, Alfred+Harry, a ship I created due to them talking more regularly. About how he feared that Connor wouldn't like him. About how i thought it would be awful if Jack left everything for Connor and Connor abandoned Jack for making him choose between him or his family.
And we also talked about two problems that had been annoying me for a while. My gender and my potential BPD.
And as we spoke to each other and listened to those songs, I quickly changed my mind about one of them.
"You know I'd rather walk alone.
Then play a supporting role.
If I can't get the starring role." Starring Role played, as I thought about how it described Florence. She was Jack's girlfriend. At first she didn't accept the fact that he was polyamorous, but it looked like everything was going okay with them. But that song reminded me of when Florence told Jack to choose between her and Connor.
Before it was time to go, I told Alfred about my personalities/voices, and about what happened with my mom.
On the way home, I started thinking about how Cathy had come out to her parents, and then I realized something. I was ready to do the same.
I didn't know what had changed, but I had suddenly felt the need to get all of this weight off me.
But I had to come out to both at the same time. If I didn't, they'd think I had a favorite.
I thought about how I would do it, and I came up with the conclusion that after my brothers were sleeping I would go to my mom's room and tell her, just before I texted my dad.
But then the unexpected happened.
I had convinced Alfred to wear lipstick in the morning. Our mandarin teacher hadn't given points in a test to anyone who said that boys wear makeup, because they didn't. And I convinced Alfred to wear makeup to prove her otherwise.
Well, it looked like many people also noticed, including this girl who had the idea of posting a pic of Alfred on Instagram.
Have you heard of butterfly effect? Well, first I gave Alfred the idea to wear lipstick to school, then the girl posted a pic of it on Instagram, after that Agnes asked people to block her because Alfred didn't deserve that and everyone was really supportive.
But I wouldn't have guessed what happened next.
Earlier that day, I'd also told Brian that it'd be fun if he came out to someone. And that's exactly what he did after he read the support that the class was giving to Alfred. He decided to also come out.
He asked the boys not to make fun of him, and he said that he didn't want to be judged. I don't think that nobody judged him, and if they did, they hid it pretty well. Even Ross, which I certainly thought was homophobic, sent him a supportive text.
This was when I stopped caring. And during that period of time, I felt invincible. I didn't care if the guys in my class didn't accept my sexuality. And I really didn't care if my parents didn't accept me. There was nothing holding me back anymore.
And I knew what I had to do.
I wrote Brian a text telling him that I was going to come out to my parents and giving him congratulations for doing the same thing with the class.
And then I "accidentally" sent it to the class's group chat.
I also sent my dad a text telling him that if he hadn't noticed, I wasn't straight.
And then I turned my phone off. I didn't want to see the answers right now. I still had to come out to my mom.
I threw my phone onto my bed and went up the stairs, where she was waiting for me.
Ha!
Cliffhanger!
I'm sorry, but I have so many things to write, and I thought it would be better if I put the other people's reactions in another chapter.
Remember to check out "No Losers Allowed", by nottrashatall, "On The Brink", by guiest88, "The Diary of a Demi-Pearl", by Exwar722 and "Appearances Deceive" by Evocator.
I hope that you enjoyed this chapter chapter, and if you did please leave a vote.