The Outcasts | e.d

NINETEEN

E L I S A

The feeling of someone stroking my hair caused my eyes to flutter open, landing on Ethan who looked like he hadn't slept in years. The bags under his eyes looked like bruises that were beginning to form.

Almost as soon as he caught me staring at him, he flinched his hand back as if I had burned him. After that, he refused to look at me, his eyes focused on his hands that laid on his lap. I furrowed my eyebrows at his strange behavior.

"You need to go home." The coldness in his voice made me flinch, so much that he even glanced at me for a second.

"What?" Normally i would curse myself for sounding so weak but I was too distracted by Ethan's cold posture.

"You need to leave." Yesterday's events barged into my mind like an unwanted house guest. I had no home.

"I don't have anywhere to go." He ran an irritated hand over his face, still avoiding eye contact with me.

"Not my problem." He stood up and walked towards the kitchen, not even giving a single glance. I tried to go after him but my body screamed in pain at any single movement I attempted to make. I looked down at my body to see I was in a different set of clothes, a pair of boxers & an old black sweatshirt.

Who changed me? Paranoia began setting in my veins, Ethan didn't do anything to me right, he wouldn't. My thoughts were interrupted when he came back with my clothes from yesterday.

"Get out." His attitude was really beginning to get under my skin.

"I can't even move-"

"Then I'll carry your ass out!" I sat there in shock, he never yelled at me, not like this at least. What the hell was his problem? You practically came intruding on his doorstep dumbass! He never wanted to deal with your drama in the first place & now you're making him deal with this too? No wonder he's upset. My inner thoughts let realization set in, of course it was my fault, who the hell would want to deal with me anyways?

I tried to get up but the second I did I collapsed back onto the couch as I tried to catch my breath from the unbearable pain that ran through my body. I nearly fell off the couch, but Ethan caught me and laid me back down. He had a conflicted look on his face & all I wanted to do was leave. I wanted to stop being the burden that he didn't ask for. I tried getting up again but Ethan kept me from getting up. He stood up and began pacing as he ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends slightly.

"I can get up I just need help sitting up-"

"Oh for fucks sake I don't want you to leave Elisa." Confused, I was about to ask him what he meant when he began to speak.

"I don't want you to leave but I can't be selfish, I'll just hurt you." At this point I realized that we were talking about much more then me leaving his house.

"You're not being selfish, you already told me that you were leaving & I understand-"

"I'm dying Elisa." I almost couldn't hear him. I assumed he was joking but the look on his face told me he was very serious.

"That's not funny Ethan."

"I'm not lying. I have an inoperable brain tumor. I only have a few months left." I could feel my world crumbling right from under my feet.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think it would make any difference since I was leaving anyways-"

"Didn't make a difference? There's a huge difference between choosing to leave and be long forced to leave Ethan!" My hands found themselves in my hair as I tried to wrap my brain around all of this new information.

Then a thought crossed my mind.
"Oh my god, Ethan your parents-"

"They don't know. Only Cameron does."

"How could you not tell your parents? They just lost their son-"

"Exactly! Why would I tell them this when it'll just worry them? They'll make me go to the hospital and I'm not spending my last days in a fucking hospital." He kneeled down in front of me but I refused to meet his eyes. His hand rested on my jaw and moved it towards him so i was forced to look into his eyes.

"I want to spend my last months living the life I won't get to. I want to spend these next few days with you, Elisa." I could feel tears prickling my eyes & it took everything in me not to let them fall. When a tear managed to escape Ethan's thumb caught it and wiped it away.

"After we finish your bucket list, you're gonna leave?" He didn't respond, but his silence only confirmed my question. This was too much, all of it. The one person I manage to find that accepts me for who I am, is dying.

Ethan is dying.

It hit me that soon he would be six feet under ground or scattered on some fucking beach or meadow. My thoughts were interrupted when Ethan spoke.

"I love you Elisa."

I froze, I didn't know what to do in this situation. Did I love him back? Did I even hear him right? So I did the one thing I shouldn't have done.

I fled.

Right out his door.

I kept running, not knowing where to go, not even acknowledging my body screaming in agony, I just kept running.