Stay Away (COMPLETED)

Chapter 35: Devastated

Fvck! Fvck this life!

I can't stop cursing while drowning myself with alcohol. It's been two weeks since Zareen broke up with me. And damn her for breaking up with me with no reason. I want to hate her for hurting me but I just can't. I'm cursing her in my mind but always ending up cursing myself because I did. Ginawa niya na talaga akong baliw. Baliw na nga ako kasi hindi ko man lang magawang magalit sa kanya nang tuluyan. Damn this!

Lumagok akong muli sa baso na may lamang brandy. The heat from the brandy instantly felt on my throat. I've been drinking for two fvcking weeks but the pain is still there. Hindi ko siya makalimutan and don't even want.

Halos isang linggo rin akong hindi pumasok sa trabaho. I stayed at my condo and drunk my misery with alcohol but when my mom went here and talked the shit out of me ay bumalik na rin ako sa pagpasok sa trabaho. It was hell. My routine for the succeeding week was work all day and drink all night. Pabalik-balik lang, nakakasawa rin but it was the only divertion I have to at least forget the pain for awhile.

The day when she passed her resignation was the last time I saw and talk to her. I went to her apartment but she was not there. Pumunta rin ako sa bahay nila but her parents said that she didn't went home. I begged them to tell me if where's Zareen, ngunit hindi nila sinabi kasi yun ang bilin nito sa kanila.

I tried calling her phone but I didn't reached her. I'm sure she turned it off. It was still a mystery why she broke up with me. Last time I check, we're okay. She even gave me her all. I was the happiest man in the world that night but it didn't crossed my mind that the day after that would be like catastrophe.

"No! No! No! Ano ba ang ginawa kong masama? Tell me. Is it about what happened the other night in my condo? Papanagutan ko ang nangyari, Zareen. But please, don't do this to me. Don't leave me." I begged.

I don't fully understand what's happening. I received a text message from her that she wants us to end. I thought she was just making fun of me like she always fondly do. But when I heard from the HR head that she submitted a resignation letter, it finally hit me that it was not a joke anymore.

"W-wala ng tayo. Pakawalan mo na ako, please. Mas mahihirapan lang tayo kung ipagpapatuloy natin 'to."

"Is it dad again? What he did this time?" I asked trying to get a valid reason why she acted like that.

"No. Hindi dahil sa papa mo. Desisyon ko 'to at walang ibang nag-utos."

"Hindi mo na ba ako mahal? May iba ba?"

Please, don't let that be the reason. Hindi ko kayang makita siyang may mahal na iba.

It was so gay of me for wanting to cry. I tried to suppressed my tears but the pain didn't let me win the battle. I shed a tear that later on turned to a faucet of sadness.

"No, walang iba. Kailanman ay walang iba." She answered and like me, she's crying, too.

Right, Zareen. You have to make sure of that at baka ano pa ang magawa ko sa bago mo kung salaking may iba ka. But her answered didn't satisfy me. I'm not convinced at all with her make up excuses. Makakabuti? Walang ibang bagay na makakabuti sa akin. I'm just good when I'm with her.

Namalayan ko ang pagtulo ng luha sa pisngi ko nang alalahanin ko na naman ang tagpong 'yun. I wiped the tears in my cheeks using the back of my hand. The reason why I chose to stay at my condo rather that going home to my parents is because of this. I don't want other people see me weak. Damn! I admit, I'm weak when it comes to Zareen.

She wanted me to forget her but how? Paano ko siya kakalimutan at ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya? Lalo pa't alam ko na mahal niya ako. She is still in love with me and until then, I'll hold on with that hope.