Don't Go (EXO Series II)

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Alexi Rei

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always known what I needed. At kahit na anong hirap pa ang pagdaanan ko, kahit ano pa ang isakripisyo ko for that certain need, gagawin at titiisin ko. Kaya ko nagawang talikuran ang pamilya ko noon. Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko kay Marco, mas pinili ko siya kesa sa mga taong nag-alaga at totoong nagmamahal sa'kin. But at the end of it all, ako rin 'yung nasaktan.

Nung panahong sobrang nasasaktan pa ako dahil sa ginawa niya, naisip ko kung bakit ang unfair ng buhay. Kung sino 'yung nagsasakripisyo, siya pa 'yung nasasaktan at naiiwanan.

When I thought I already found the happiness I’ve been longing for, saka ako natalo ng takot. Kaya pinili ko ulit magsakripisyo. Pinakawalan ko 'yung isang taong sobra nang mahalaga para sa akin. Akala ko mas madali na ganito. Doble doble pa pala 'yung sakit na mararamdaman ko.

But I needed to be okay. At ngayong nakabalik na ako, and finally together with my family again, I will really try to be okay - this time, I’d do it for them.

I sat across my Dad at the dining table. Marahan namang pinisil ni Mommy 'yung palad ko.

“How are you, Alex?” my Mom asked.

“I’m okay, ‘My. Kayo po?” I smiled at her.

Both of them smiled at me as my Dad reached for his wife’s hand. “We’re happy seeing you again, Alex.”

I missed this setting. I missed my parents. I’ve been distant from them for 2 years and I feel great to see them and eat with them. Wala pa ring tatalo sa comfort na pwedeng ibigay ng mga taong totoong nagmamahal sa'yo; na kahit anong mangyari, gaano man kabigat 'yung nagawa mong pagkakamali, tatanggapin at mamahalin ka pa rin.

Nagpaalam din sila after dinner. I envy my parents for the relationship they have. Ilang beses na ring sinubok ng panahon ang pagsasama nila but they remained strong. I guess that’s the power of true love - the kind of love I have yet to experience.

I was browsing some movies at the CD stack when I heard the doorbell rang. I hurried to the door and opened it.

'Di ko alam what I exactly felt when I saw him again, standing there with a hopeful look on his face.

“Hi, Alex.” His greeting sent me chills. He took a step forward and I let him enter the house.

Instead of anger, I felt nothing but relief. And I completely understood why. I smiled at him. “Marco, what are you doing here?” I asked in a casual tone na maging ako ay nabigla. It just sounded so natural.

He hesitated. I gestured him to sit.

“How’s Korea? Natapos mo ba ang Thesis mo?”

Tumungo lang siya. He seemed nervous for some reason.

“Come on, tell me something.”

“Alex…” He sighed and motioned forward to hold my hands. I wasn’t even surprised that I felt nothing with his touch. “The reason why I came here is because I want to…” He paused and waited for my reaction. When I said nothing, he continued, “I wanted to say sorry for what I did.”

He had this pleading look that would most definitely have me easily carried away… if I was still in love with him. “Marco, you don’t have to.”

His face lit up and a smile began to form on his lips. I guess he mistook it.

“I’ve already forgiven you.” I let out a relieved sigh. “Besides, I’ve already moved on. At alam ko na ganun ka rin. There’s no need to put the burden on your shoulders.” That’s me trying to get it straight for him.