I couldn’t move. The voice I hadn’t heard in a week had just called out to me, clear as day. I could feel the butterflies flutter at the sound of my name coming from his mouth, but I also felt that ache in my heart that I knew would intensify when I turned around and saw his face. My breathing was picking up and I sucked in breath, holding it.
Lydia, relax. Just relax. It will be okay.
I let the air out as the sound of footsteps got closer and closer. What do I do? Do I turn around and talk to him? Should I keep walking? Or would running away shouting “Stay away!” be acceptable? I thought about that last one for a second before realizing that that would just make me look crazy. Damn it.
“Lydia.”
I turned my body slowly around, my breath catching in my chest as my eyes finally laid on him. His hair was pushed way up off his forehead, a look I hadn’t seen him with that much. Most of the time, he curls were brushed up a bit from his hand or they would lie across his forehead. His white t-shirt was clinging to his chest and I could see the outline of muscles and the black ink from his tattoos through it. God damn it Harry. He’s clearly trying to flaunt how well he’s doing in front of me. And to make matters all the fucking better, Mia was standing next to him. And she did not look like she really wanted to be talking to me.
“Hey,” Harry said.
What do I even say to him? Hey Harry, thanks for looking like a god damn model when I’m still pissed at you, you assface. How about, the sight of you and this blonde chick together makes me want to bang my head against a brick wall. Oh wait, how about, you asshole, thanks for making me fall in love with you then breaking my heart and reminding me that I’m never going to be good enough for somebody like you. Hmmm, so many options of what I can say.
“Hey Harry.”
Okay, I guess that works too.
A small smile appeared on his face at the sound of his name. His dimples cut into his cheeks and his eyes pierced me. Looks from him like that were what got my hopes up in the past. The little bubble of hope that made the butterflies flap their wings was pushed down, way down, by my reminder that he was standing here in front of me, with his girlfriend.
“How are you? I haven’t seen you around in a while,” he said somewhat quietly. I couldn’t fully read the look on his face. It was almost like he was actually happy to see me, but c’mon, I knew that wasn’t probably true. It was probably because he got lucky with Mia on the bus earlier. Lydia, stop it.
“Uh, I’m good,” I said. I could’ve asked how he was but I didn’t really want to hear how much better he was doing without me in his life, with his new girlfriend. Not only would it just piss me off but it would probably break me more than I already am broken. I crossed my legs (nervous habit) and bit my bottom lip, not sure how to fill this awkward silence that had fallen upon us.
As mad and hurt as I was, I couldn’t help but admit that it was good to actually see him. I missed the dimples in his cheeks that grew deep when he smiled at me. I missed the curls that I constantly wanted to run my fingers through, especially more since I first got to at the club. I missed the crazy look he’d give me when I made a weird face at him and his laugh that would follow. I missed the sound of my name coming out of his mouth.
