Filling Scars With Love

Torn Apart.

“Who the hell do you think you are young lady?!”

Those words. I'd be lying if I didn't say that those kind of freaked me out. I wanted to speak, but I couldn't. I wasn't thinking of anything to say.

“You think it's fun leaving for a whole DAMN NIGHT, WITH A BOY, IN HIS OWN DAMN HOUSE, ONLY YOU TWO ALONE?”

 “Mom, c-calm down I can...”

“NO, YOU CAN NOT EXPLAIN! BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN GIRLS GO TO SOME RANDOM BOYS' HOUSES.”

“MOM HE IS NOT A RANDOM BOY!” I yelled. She stepped back.

“We didn't do anything, plus it was his birthday. I know that you might be thinking that we had sex or a thing like that, but he's respectful. He loves me.” I assured her. I don't know where I found the damn confidence to say these words.

“True love doesn't even exist.” She said, her voice cracking.

“Mom?”

“Leave it, it's okay. I just don't want you to leave Scarlett. I don't want you to leave like your father did...”

 “Mom, the freaking hell are you saying?” I said, concern filling my eyes and my whole heart. Is he cheating on her?

“He's been lying to us. For a whole damn year. You think he goes to work, well flash news, he goes to different pubs every night, with his stupid pricky friends, watching strippers like TEENAGERS! At his age he must be more responsible, he has a child...”

 “It's not like I'm his child at all.” I said. I didn't regret the fact that I said that at all. It was the truth though, I'm just an adopted child.

“Scarlett...don't say that.” She said coming to hug me.

“No, don't. Mom just face the truth. To him I will always be a fucking bastard who lost her parents. That's what I'll always be.” I said, my voice cracking. Before I could feel the tears inside of me, I felt them inside of her.

“Sean was right.” I mumbled. “ I'm just a freaking adopted child who's worth nothing.”

I got up, running to my bedroom. I heard mom yelling from downstairs, but I didn't even bother to turn my head. I feel like regretting everything I've done the past months. Everything, including Mike. I heard my phone ringing. It was Mike. Not now...maybe another time, maybe tomorrow. I threw my phone on the bed and got in the bathroom. I needed to take a shower. I heard the front door open and close right back.

Yells from downstairs.

I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks. It was coming, it was coming again, just like before. My phone was still buzzing. I felt like exploding from all this shit happening. Why is it coming again. I thought I was over this. I slowly got up, my wet hair and feet leaving wet marks on the floor. I took my blade and slowly got back in the shower.

“Long time we haven't met” I whispered.

I just felt like it whispered back: "It was about time"

One, two, three. Three perfect scars.

"The promise!" Someone whispered. But there wasn't anyone in here.

What promise? We all break promises we can't keep. Why do we make them? To show people that we're strong enough. But I'm not... I broke the promise I made to Lucy, why shouldn't I break this? Another one. The blood was silently falling down my arms, covering my stomach. Why do I do this to myself? After all Sean was right, I'm worth nothing. I'm a freak.