Look Up (ON HOLD)

Feeling Complete

Today was great! I went to ride the tractor with Adam but I kinda kissed him on the cheek. If anyone asks it was southern hospitality. I couldn't lie to save my life so I was NOT going to embarace myself.

I was standing in my room sitting on the windowseat. I was looking at Adam shoveling dirt from the barn. I felt a vibaration that made me jolt. Then i realized it was my phone. More importantly it was Jake. I answered it.

"HI, Jake!! Oh my! I missed you so so much! I can't wait to tell you everything. It has been great! I-"

"Haha! Okay ... Jessica wait a minute! I kinda have to tell you something.... something you should know.

"Oh... Okay, Jake. You know you can tell me anything."

He was quiet for a while.

"I don't think this whole 'long distance' thing is working out."

I was silent for what seemed like forever. Then i swallowed had.

"Jake, before you go throught this again, please just tell me the truth to these two questions. Okay?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you or did you not cheat on me already?"

I hadn't noticed I was crying until I let out a sob.

"Yes."

Another one came and I was just dragging the knife deeper and deeper.

"And, Jake, Did you or did you not sleep with my friend, Jammie?"

She wasn't my best friend she was the only nice person to me. But she was the school whore that alreay has two babies.

"Jessica, yes and I'm sorry."

I shook my head even though he couldn't hear me.

"Yeah... Well.... Me too." I hung up.

I cried and cried. He sent text messages to me which I read and deleted. I heard someone walking up the stairs but it was too late to do anything.

"Hey Jessy Wh- Are you okay?"

I didn't know what or how to say it. So I just shook my head 'no'. He looked upset also.

"Do you want me to stay?"

I honestly didn't know what he could've done. But I didn't want to be alone. I nodded my head. He walked towards meand sat on the bed while I was standing there.

"Come here."

I looked toward him. He stretched his incredibly long arms out. I kinda of attacked him. I grabbed the back of his neck and put my legs on him. It was kinda bridal style.

He hummed and swayed back and forth. I didn't let go. I never wanted to let go. I was finally okay. I mean, it wasn't the first time this has happened. I realized he wasn't good enough for me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?

I shook my head. No, I didn't want to talk about. But he was like a big teddy bear. He was big, comfortable, and comforting. He seemed to care so much, already. We only knew each other for a few days.

"Thank you, Adam. But why are you being so nice to me?"

He looked at me funny.

"Becuase your a human-being and a woman. Your nice to me so why wouldn't I be nice to you?"

I shrugged. He had a good point. "What were you gonna ask me again?" I was deperate to change the subject.

"Oh, I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner. So what do you want for dinner?"

I kinda laughed and looked at him. There was no doubt I looked bad. He took his hand and wiped away my tear. Then he smiled and that made me smile.

The worse thing about Jake was after talking to Adam, I kinda knew everything would be okay.

I kissed Adam again. On the cheek. I wanted more but he just blushed and looked away. I laughed.

"Hey, Adam, Are you blushing?"

"Hey, Jessy, Shut up." He was playing around.

I stood up and stretched. "Okay. I'm going to make dinner. If you want to come you may. But you can only come if you stop blushing.Ha!" He smiled and didn't stop blushing.I grabbed his arm and tugged him. I tried again and again. "Oh, my goodness, Adam. How much do you weigh? I mean you aren't fat but I'm trying to pull you up. Its either I'm really weak or your really big." He stood up and was at least a head and a half taller than me.

"Oh..." I said in defeat realizing I was weak. I stared back at him. He smiled knowing he was powerful.

"Well... Let's go make dinner."

I took his hand and dragged him to the kitchen. I was so confused I didn't know what they made. Well they are farmers so probably chicken? I wasn't sure.

"Umm... What should I make, Adam?"

"Uhh... Here make something to go with this chicken. I will be outside."

He took some sort of meat outside. Well its up to me to find something else. I made corn, mashed potatoes, biscuits and gravy. I'm not gonna lie it took soo long! Adam came in when I put everything on the table. He looked amazed.

"Did you seriously cook this all?" I nodded.

"This is all I really know how to make. I can make something else if you don't like it though."

He shook his head. "No way. Thank you. My dad is gonna love it too. And could I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Were you serious when you said you were a vegetarian?"

"Yes. I am a horrible liar. My face gets red and I shake."

"Really?! Say three things and make one of them a lie."

I looked up trying to think of something quickly.

"Okay. I have a cell phone. I like school. I uhh um favorite color is orange." The last one was a lie I could feel the redness in my cheeks and my hands shaking and Adam staring at me. He started to laugh hysterically.

I looked away and Woody came in. "You okay, Jessy? You don't look too good." Adam was still laughing. Woody look at us both.

"Ahh Dad. Jessy told me that she can't lie and I asked her to and thats what happens!"

They both were laughing at me now. After about a minute of laughin they both apologized to me.

"MMM! Jessy did you make all of this?!"

"Yes."

Woody and Adam both walked into the Dining room where I prepared food for us. We all sat down at the table. Woody and Adam held hands and reached for mine. I held them both. I realized that they were praying. I was proud to be so lucky to be here. Woody said grace then grabed the food. Adam did also and I waited till they were done with their first plate. I swear they had 5 plates each. They could eat alright.

After dinner Woody thanked me again and went to the kitchen. He grabbed a beer and sat on the couch and watched a game on TV. Adam thanked me also and went into the other room. I cleaned up the dishes. They ate all of the food. I must be a good chef.

I was done and went into the living room and sat next to Adam. After the ertrememly long baseball game I said good night to them and went to sleep.

Tonight I felt complete.